It may never have occurred to you that your immediate superior--your boss--might turn out to be as important a figure in your life as a parent or a favorite teacher. But consider the enormous power that lies in this man's or woman's hands. Your boss may have hired you and probably has power to fire you, or at least to see to it that somebody else does. He or she can smooth your road toward raises and promotions--or, conversely, can put obstacles in your path, hold you back, and make your life miserable. Your boss can teach you, guide you, show you vistas of career exploration that you might never have seen on your own--or, conversely, can squeeze you, cramp you, make you so discontented that you become nothing but a time-server, the first to be fired when conditions are bad, lacking any future even if business is good.
Considering the staggering importance of a boss, it often surprises me to see how casually most people approach the boss-subordinate relationship. The prevailing view seems to be that this relationship is something that comes into being by itself, and you simply have to take what you get. In other words: depend on luck. If you hold that view, you could be heading for career disaster. Your relationship with your immediate superior should not be left to chance. If you want to make your present position secure and build solid hopes for the future, it is essential that you study this powerful person with care and interface with him or her methodically.
If, by luck, the relationship has started out well and seems to be based solidly on mutual liking and respect, then you have a good foundation to build on. This doesn't mean you can sit back and take the happy circumstance for granted. The seemingly strong bonds between you and your affable boss could be ripped to shreds in some unforeseeable crisis in the future. What you first do is to work to understand the relationship. Know how you will preserve it and protect yourself if and when that crisis arises.
If the relationship is poor--or, just as bad, if you don't know exactly where you stand with your boss--then the need for work is more acute. Your job is not as secure as it ought to be. You have left too much to chance.
Whatever you do, don't give in to frustration, lose your temper, and leave the job. I've known many people to quit their jobs in a sudden fit of anger or disgust, and the most commonly given reason is "I couldn't get along with my boss." Certainly, it is normal and human to get frustrated with a bad situation that fails to improve itself, but walking off the job is the very, very last solution you should think of. It is almost always better to stick with what you've got and try to improve it.
I would give this advice even in the best of economic times. In less-than-boom times such as the present, the advice takes on a sharper edge. If you quit your job, you are not going to find a lot of other prospective bosses knocking at your door to offer you a new one.
Start by making a close study of this man or woman, your boss. Find out as much as you can. Some information about him or her will undoubtedly be open and public; some will be partially hidden, discoverable only by listening to the grapevine and observing your boss in day-to-day interactions with other people.
The point of this study is that your own fate is linked with your superior's. If this boss of yours is considered a comer, is marked for bigger things, is granted power and decision-making leeway, then he or she can give you various kinds of highly valuable help with your career. Indeed, if the relationship is strong enough, your boss can even become your mentor. But if your boss lacks power, is considered to be dead-ended, or is on the way out, then you can expect little help or solid support from this source no matter how fond the relationship may be--and, that being the case, will have to seek your security in other ways.
Find out first where your department fits in the corporate scheme. What is its relationship to other departments? Is it considered important, or are there some who consider it a joke? Does it seem to get its fair share of budgeted money?
"I found out where my boss and my department really stood when I started to pay attention to expense-account rules," recalls a woman who used to work for an electronics company. "I thought my department was about average in terms of importance until I had lunch one day with a friend from another department and we compared notes on business trips we'd taken recently. I complained about the stringent rules we had to follow: we could charge meals to expenses only under certain conditions, and we were allowed to spend only so much, and we had to get receipts for everything, including two-dollar cab rides. My friend looked surprised and said nobody had ever imposed those rules on her. She was allowed to charge whatever she felt was reasonable. Well, this was a revelation to me. I'd thought all departments had penny-pinching budgets. Now I began to see that my boss wasn't one of the company's fair-haired boys. The department was a dead end, in fact. I worked hard to get myself moved out of it."
Watch for clues as that woman did. Listen to what people say about your department. Don't put too much faith in what people tell you or what you have observed about other companies. This company is the one that counts. In some organizations the personnel department is among the first to be chopped in hard times, while in others--IBM is an example--it is a department of high status and considerable power.
If you determine that your department holds low rank or is a dead end that will be a signal that you should study your boss with extra care. It may turn out that you have little to worry about; perhaps he or she is a strong leader who was assigned to this loser department for the specific purpose of improving its fortunes. In that case, stand hard by; you could have a good future. On the other hand, maybe the reverse is true: your boss was assigned to the department when it was strong but then allowed it to collapse. Or--a third possibility--this boss of yours is somebody who failed in another department and was dumped into this one because nobody considers it important.
If either of the last two possibilities is true, you have two choices. Either you should seek to get transferred out of the department, or you should work to help your boss strengthen it. We will discuss both kinds of strategy in due course.
Though many of your clues about your boss will come from the company grapevine, you can also get a wealth of information by studying him or her at first hand. Some of your best clues will come (if you are alert) from situations of sudden surprise. Watch how your boss reacts, for example, when a secretary comes in with some bad news, or when a superior phones and unexpectedly moves up a deadline for completion of a project.
In my experience, observing somebody interacting with a superior is probably the very best way of arriving at judgments about that person's standing, power, confidence, and competence. There are three main categories of reaction to a sudden, distressing phone call from a superior:
1. Calm and confident: "Sure, Paul, we can speed up the work on this project. It'll mean rescheduling some other work, but nothing we can't handle. Tuesday? No, I'm afraid that would be cutting it too close. We wouldn't have time to check our work the way we like. What would you say to Wednesday? ... Yes, that is a promise."
A conversation like that gives you a lot of encouraging information about your boss. This man or woman is confident of his or her ability to lead the department and organize its work, confident of the team's capacity to perform well under stress. The conversation shows also that your boss is well thought of in the upper executive offices--is secure enough to stand fast when a superior makes an unreasonable demand. Moreover, your boss has the skill to disagree with a superior in such a way as to gain rather than lose credit from the exchange. The superior, though blocked in his wish to have the project finished by Tuesday, might well have put down the phone and said, "That fellow really seems to know what he's doing."
2. Overeager: "Sure, Paul! Of course! I'll get on it right away! No problem, no problem! Right! You bet!"
This boss seems too anxious to please. Insecurity comes through the words. You can be doubly sure of this judgment if you discover, over a period of time, that your boss often makes promises that cannot be kept--promises, for example, about project deadlines that your department is incapable of meeting.
3. Panicky: "Tuesday? Oh my God, that's--well, I'll see if I can find--I don't know if--you wouldn't believe how much pressure we've--listen, can I call you back? ..."
This sounds very much like a boss who not only lacks a sense of confidence and security, but feels the ground slipping away like loose sand underfoot.
As I've said, you can elect either to get out from under or to stick around and make improvements if you determine that your boss is a person in trouble. But you have already taken the supremely important first step: you have gone to the trouble of finding out who your boss is and where he stands. Most people don't take even that elementary precaution.
Cultivating a Good Relationship
Some bosses, of course, are easier to get along with than others. Some are intimidatingly difficult. I know of one man who, through a series of flukes, was promoted far beyond his level of competence and found himself floundering. His department was in a shambles; its work was chronically late and slipshod; other departments that depended on that work were complaining more and more loudly. This man's response was to put all the blame on his subordinates. "They let me down," he would say. "We gave them a chance to show what they could do and they blew it."
A difficult situation indeed: Two of his subordinates got themselves transferred out of the department, one through the intervention of a mentor.
Another group took the opposite tack: they analyzed the department's problems and tactfully suggested ways in which the boss could bring its performance up to par. They let him take most of the credit but made sure some of it rubbed off on them. The only people who got hurt in this situation were those who did nothing. There were a few who simply sat, allowing themselves to be associated with the department's former state of disarray. Two or three lost their jobs in one of the "austerity" programs that the company periodically launched to hold up its sagging earnings, while the others, when I last heard of them, still had their jobs but seemed to be going nowhere. All these do-nothing people had their careers seriously set back.
Few bosses are that difficult, fortunately. As a general rule--with exceptions--people who rise to leadership positions in business are men and women who have learned how to conduct themselves in a courteous, businesslike, professional way. Thus, statistically, you are probably going to meet more capable and likable bosses in your career than difficult ones.
But even the most forthright, amiable, considerate, and confident boss needs careful cultivating. Just as it is seldom a good idea to lie down and quit in a bad situation, so it is hazardous to take a good situation for granted.
Here are the most important points to bear in mind in your approach to your boss:
Be supportive. You've found out what your boss's standing is, what his or her problems are, what he or she wants. Now you must figure out how you can help your boss get what he or she wants. Be very careful in all your attempts to help. Be sure your actions not only are supportive but look that way to your boss. Different bosses will react in different ways, for example, to a subordinate who offers to take over a few new responsibilities. One boss may be glad to get rid of some headaches; another may think the sub ordinate is a busybody; a third may feel threatened by what looks like an attempt to move in on his or her territory.
To avoid bad outcomes, assess your boss. If he or she seems insecure, move very, very slowly in your attempts to help. An in secure boss feels threats from all directions.
Also be aware of your own attitude and the signals you are sending. Your attitude should not say, "Boss, I want your job." Instead, you should say, "If you succeed, boss, I succeed. I want to help you make a good name for yourself."
Be supportive no matter what happens. There may come a time, for instance, when you feel you know more about a certain situation than your boss does. This is a common occurrence, particularly with the kind of boss who habitually delegates tasks to subordinates and lets them work out their own approaches. If you have spent an entire week working on a certain problem, it is perfectly conceivable that by Friday you will know considerably more about it than your boss does.
That being so, it is also conceivable that your boss will make suggestions or ask questions based on inadequate knowledge. Now is the time to remember the rule: be supportive. Your boss's suggestion may be utterly ridiculous, but you must be careful not to say that or imply it in your words, looks, or attitude. Instead, find a way to set the facts straight without making your boss feel foolish: "Yes, the same idea occurred to me, but it turns out there's a catch. And then find a way to reassure your boss that he or she is the boss. One excellent way is to ask for guidance: "Since there's no way around the problem, I'm at a loss about what to do. What do you think?"
Tell your boss what you are doing. This is especially important if your boss feels less than perfectly secure. An insecure person is always wondering what people are doing and saying when out of sight, and will constantly imagine dark plots and conspiracies. Protect yourself against these fear-ridden imaginings by being candid about all the important events of your office life.
This doesn't mean you should report trivia to your boss--and you should certainly not report on other people like a KGB spy. What it means is that you should find seemingly casual ways to let your boss know of your own moves. If you've had lunch with a friend from another department or a talk with a senior executive, mention these facts casually when you get the chance.
It may seem silly, but it is better to tell your boss about some encounter than to have him or her find out about it by chance from somebody else. For this is how the fearful imaginings get their start: why was so-and-so talking to the vice-president? Why wasn't I told? Were they discussing something they don't want me to know about? When your boss begins to think thoughts like these, you are probably in trouble.
Let your boss win arguments. Understand how much the average person hates to lose an argument with a subordinate. It may be necessary for you to swallow your pride once in a while. If it is necessary, do it and try to forget it.
Try to end every confrontation on a positive note, even if it does hurt your pride: "Yes, you're right, I shouldn't have handled it that way. You walk out of your boss's office feeling put-upon and angry, perhaps--but look at it this way: your principal mission is to preserve your job and get promoted, not win arguments. A certain amount of swallowed pride and suppressed anger isn't that great a price to pay. The bad feeling won't last long. Tomorrow the air will have cleared.
Never, never storm out of your boss's office with angry words and a slammed door. Nor is it ever a good idea to let a confrontation end inconclusively: "Well, I'll think about it." All that does is keep the disagreement simmering. It may evaporate, but don't count on that. The best strategy is to find a positive ending and get it over with.
If you must correct your boss's facts, do it gently. Though you will usually want to let your boss win arguments--particularly arguments having to do with questions of opinion--there will be times when your boss plainly and simply has the facts wrong. If the consequences of this are trivial, let it go; say nothing. But if you judge that the consequences could be severe, to you personally or to the department's work, then you will have to speak up. But remember my warning against doing or saying things that your boss could feel as threats. Don't correct those faulty facts in such a way as to make your boss look foolish, and don't do it angrily, even though your boss's mistake could have cost you dearly.
Let's suppose your boss calls you in one day and says: "I think it's time you and I had a little talk about the working hours around here. This company pays you a damned good salary, and in return we expect five honest days of work from you every week. I've been watching you, and it seems to me you've been getting to work later every morning. Why, I don't think you've gotten to your desk any earlier than ten this whole week..."
Your boss has the facts wrong. The truth is that you've been working on a project requiring library research. You've been spending the first two hours each morning in the company library. You've got to say something. Those faulty facts could do serious damage to your job security and your career. What do you do? Don't make your boss look like a jackass: "Maybe one day you'll bother to get your facts straight before you go around throwing accusations at people..."
Don't get angry: "This really takes the cake! You owe me an apology!"
Instead, tell your boss that a perfectly understandable mistake has been made--a mistake that any smart person would be likely to make in the same circumstances--and then state the correct facts in a straightforward and unemotional way. Smilingly say, "Oh, yes, it's my fault, really. I should have told you what I've been up to. How could you be expected to know? You see, I've been working in the library every morning ..."
Be interested in your boss's personal life. Not all men and women care to communicate personal trivia to subordinates, but the majority do. I'm not quite sure why this is so. Perhaps it springs from a boss's wish to seem human. "You see, I'm a flesh-and-blood person just like you," the boss seems to be saying. "I've got a family, I've got likes and dislikes, and I've got problems like anybody else. I'm really a pretty lovable person, don't you see that?"
Most bosses want to be liked. If yours does, cooperate. Be interested when your boss talks about his or her kids and spouse--and for goodness' sake remember their names. Try to remember other personal details too. It will please and flatter your boss if, months after you hear some trivial detail, you show that it has stuck in your mind: "You once told me you're fond of those hero sandwiches they make at the deli across the street. Why don't I pick up a couple for us to eat on the road?"
Conversely, failure to remember a personal detail could lower you in your boss's esteem. An executive recalls a time when, as a younger man, he worked under a woman boss. She was a recovered alcoholic and a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Members of AA are encouraged to talk openly of their problem-or at least not to make any attempt to hide it. "My boss didn't talk about it often," the man recalls, "but at a sales dinner one night, when the rest of us were having drinks and she wasn't, she did mention alcoholism in an offhand way. I remembered this, but apparently not everyone else was as careful about personal details as I was."
The man was promoted out of the woman boss's department shortly after that sales dinner. A month or so later he had lunch with a younger man who was making a good name for himself in her department and hoped soon to be promoted as her second-in-command.
"It's the personal touch that gets you ahead," the younger man said, sounding pleased with himself. "She won a management award last week, so a few of us chipped in and got her a gift. We left it on her desk. She'll be finding it just about now as she gets back from lunch."
"Oh? What did you get her?"
"A bottle of champagne."
The inattentive young man never became the woman's second-in-command. He marked time for two years, got impatient, quit, and was never heard of around that company again.
You may be thoroughly bored by your boss's revelations about his or her Siamese cat, favorite restaurant, or golf score. But you had better listen alertly and with at least an appearance of interest.
Handling a Change
A sudden, unexplained change in a boss can be bewildering and frightening for subordinates. Your boss used to be amiable; now, abruptly, he or she seems distant, unfriendly, and unnecessarily brusque. What should you do?
The first thing to do is to wait for a few days. Perhaps the change is caused by some passing problem having nothing to do with you. Don't overreact to just one instance of abrupt or rude behavior on your boss's part. We all have our bad days.
But if the changed behavior continues or gets worse, carefully observe what is going on. Is this new behavior general? That is, does your boss behave in this changed manner with everybody? Or does the abruptness seem to be directed only at you?
If it seems directed at everybody, listen to the grapevine and see if you can find out what has caused the change. It may be that a crisis is coming, and you will need to protect yourself. Or perhaps whatever has gone wrong is something you can help with. Remember the importance of supporting your boss when you can.
If the unfriendly behavior seems aimed at you alone, then it is time for you to have a talk with your boss. Be pleasant and unemotional: "We've always had a good relationship, but something seems to have happened. Is something wrong? I'd like to straighten it out if I can."
This may be just the opening your boss has been waiting and hoping for. Perhaps he or she does have a genuine complaint against you. You may have made a mistake without realizing it. Or perhaps somebody has misreported something you've done or said. At any rate, your boss has been angered, has wanted to air the problem with you, but has kept putting the moment off. This kind of procrastination is altogether human. Nobody likes unpleasant scenes; very few people look forward to chastising a subordinate. Indeed, parents even procrastinate before confronting a child or teenager over some developing problem.
Thus, your boss may react with a feeling of great relief when you voluntarily initiate the dreaded confrontation. You are likely to hear your boss say, "Why, yes, there has been something I wanted to talk to you about... Why don't you sit down?"
And while your boss walks across the office to shut the door, you will have some moments to collect yourself and remind yourself of our major rule about confrontations with one's boss: whatever the coming unpleasantness is to be about, let your boss win. When it is over, the air will have begun to clear. With any kind of luck, you and your boss can then reestablish your relationship as it was before.
But what if your boss doesn't take you up on your offer to get the problem aired and disposed of? Suppose you ask what is wrong and your boss only mumbles, "Nothing," or "Nothing to do with you," or "Wrong? Nothing's wrong. You're imagining things!" In that case, drop it. Don't needle your boss or come back whining: "I know something's wrong! You just don't behave the way you used to around me!" As a general rule, somebody who has decided to hide a problem cannot be talked into revealing it. I've seen this happen so rarely that I am tempted to say it just about never happens. Your boss's reasons for ducking a confrontation over the problem may be sound or not, may be smart or may be dumb, but they are reasons that probably are not going to be budged.
Instead of badgering your boss about this, put your ear to the grapevine. Listen to what others are saying. Think back over your own activities in recent days and weeks. If you can pinpoint the day or week when you first noticed your boss's changed behavior, focus on what you were doing that day or week. This could give you the clues you need to explain what is troubling your boss and what you should do about it.
