Alvin Dorset discovered the truth of the above paragraph by what he called at first a "revolting experiment." He had an excellent job with an excellent company, but as he explained it, "There's one guy in that office I just can't stomach, I don't know what there is about him, but just having him seated two desks away is enough to ruin my day. He's become such an obsession with me that either I quit or I'm going to slug him one of these days and get fired. At least that way I'll get severance pay."
Alvin completed the procedures before I returned again to the object of his personal animus. Then I said, "Mr. Dorset, I know you did a lot of soul-searching when you began listing your achievements and analyzing them. But you did locate your Dynamic Success Factors, and you know they are being used effectively in your present job. Now this chap seated two desks away-don't you suppose there must be something good about him that enables him to function well enough to hold a job in your line of work?"
"What do you want me to do?" asked Dorset bitterly, "analyze his achievements and make him successful? Why, I'd-"
"Not at all," I interrupted quickly. "But you told me that you didn't know what there was about him that you didn't like. I suggest you find out, remembering, of course, to look for the good points that count, and not the weak. Oh, I know that in football they say to hunt for the weak points in the line, and run the plays through there, but you can be sure that the coach who uses that strategy has spent many a nervous hour analyzing all the strong points first. He knows his opponent isn't winning games by featuring weak points in the line, and your friend isn't holding down a good job with weaknesses and mistakes. If he didn't have any good points there, he wouldn't be there, either."
"How revolting can you get?" said Dorset. But the idea of seeking some good points in his hated office-mate intrigued him. He became more intrigued when he discovered a couple of points that made his associate look almost human. These are the points that are always invisible when you are looking only for the bad, just as success becomes almost invisible when you study only mistakes. To find more good points, Dorset struck up a coffee-break conversation with his associate that was resumed the next day. After a week of this the associate said, "Dorset, I had you pegged for one of those 'look-down-the-nosers' that I can't stand. But you seem to be a right guy."
"Now that you describe it," said Dorset, "I guess that was my opinion of you."
Two weeks later, Dorset and his new friend began collaboration on a new car-unloading and materials-handling program for the company that is already saving thousands of dollars a-year. And I'll always like Dorset's somewhat dazed comment to me: "So help me," he said, "I didn't get his raise for him. He got mine for me."
This is not "do-gooder" advice that I am thrusting at you. It is cold, practical business advice. When you speak well of and to your associates, they will think and speak well of you, and when there are a dozen men to say, "Well, if anyone deserves a promotion, Hank does," no supervisor has to hesitate in putting the promotion through even though the "annual review" be months in the future.
Good words make good friends; ill words make enemies. No words, meaning staying out of company politics to keep the nose to the grindstone, means no words in return, including such highly prized words as "raise" and "promotion." Look for what's good in others, and they'll look for what's good in you.
