"Most people aren't political enough," says Mike Murphy of the Signet Group, an outplacement firm in Chicago. "They want to bury their heads in the sand and hope the problem will go away. They don't realize you can't solve a problem by ignoring it." Two senior managers had trouble getting along, which was creating problems for their subordinates as well as the VP who supervised them. In a particularly astute political move, one manager decided to find ways to relate better to her (more volatile) colleague. She shared this goal with the VP, and together they brainstormed the possibilities.
By demonstrating the initiative to solve the problem and further her boss's agenda, this savvy manager turned an interpersonal conflict into an opportunity to improve her team playing skills and strengthen her alliance with higher ups. Meanwhile, the other manager began looking like a difficult, irrational person to work with.
For the manager who made the extra effort, there are two immediate payoffs. First, she's no longer a passive victim of her co worker's moodiness. Second, her boss is now more likely to cooperate with her when incidents arise.
There are long term benefits, too. Down the road, she's likely to be viewed (and to view herself) as a team player who keeps her cool under pressure. Who would you recommend for a promotion?
The moral of the story: The next time some irrational but highly ambitious co worker gets under your skin, experiment with creative ways to use the experience to your professional advantage. In other words: Find a way to get even by getting ahead. While this can be a real test of interpersonal skill, it's worth the effort. When office animosities run high, careers get sabotaged. Hostilities escalate. And you can end up dreading every minute in the office.
As long as you're committed to staying, you'll have to find a way to fit in with the people you must work with. I'm not talking best buddies here-just cordial working relationships. The alliances you form should enhance your career goals and satisfaction or there's no point in forming them. Rather than lament the politics, you need a rational strategy for working with difficult people. Ranting and raving won't work. Neither will silent suffering ("poor me" makes you look more pitiful than powerful). Is it really so gratifying to play the victim? Wouldn't you rather try a stronger, more assertive role?
Reaching Out
A sales representative for an office equipment company hated the all male team she was expected to play on. She considered them loud, crass and ignorant. She wanted no part of what she considered their "male posturing" and was determined to "put them in their place."
For her, it was both feminist pride and personal preference. Rather than join into what she called their "macho boys club," she refused all invitations to lunch or after work drinks, telling her husband: "I'd rather eat lunch with a pig. You have no idea how gross those guys are."
It didn't take long for her co workers to get the message. They might be gross, but they weren't stupid.
To say she didn't "fit in" would be putting her case mildly. It was almost as if she didn't work there. During weekly staff meetings, all conversation would stop when she walked into the room. There were lots of occasional glances in her direction, but no one ever addressed her directly. And, when she did speak up, her comments would be met with complete silence. It was eerie and intimidating.
Yet she was an excellent sales rep and, much to her surprise, she had been turning in the best sales performance of her life. Her husband suspected that her desire to show her co workers up was behind the achievement.
When word got out, funny things started to happen. A decision was made, for example, to reorganize sales territories. When the new assignments were handed out, she saw immediately that she had a smaller piece of the pie. When she complained to her sales manager, she was told: "You're not a team player. The better territories are reserved for the team players." She protested vehemently. Obviously, she'd already proved that she could handle a larger region. She'd earned and deserved a better assignment, not a smaller one.
The manager was firm: "This is a company that values team play. We don't want to send a message that we value individual effort more than the group. You have to learn how to play on the team."
Rather than leave (which she surely would've been justified in doing), the sales rep decided to become more involved with her group. After all, she reasoned, there are going to be politics everywhere.
How did she do it?
She didn't turn herself into a cheerleader overnight or ever. That would've been too much. Instead, she singled out the person who'd taken over a piece of her territory and made a goodwill gesture by inviting him to lunch to discuss some of the accounts. He looked surprised, but agreed. During the meeting, she was sincere and helpful. He seemed to appreciate her comments.
Over the next few weeks, she went out of her way to ask how he was doing with various accounts, and he gave her informal updates on his progress. At one point, he even asked her advice about dealing with one of her more loyal customers who was unhappy with the change of reps. She offered to make a sales call with him to help smooth the customer's anxieties. He accepted. The call went smoothly. Afterward, he bought her lunch and thanked her for her efforts. Away from the group, she found him perfectly acceptable and, at times, even nice. They'd never be close, but it was obvious they could work together.
Her efforts didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the team. Gradually, they started speaking to her more cordially: a simple "how are you" in the morning without the usual bravado, an occasional sharing of information and, in general, a more relaxed atmosphere at office meetings.
Her numbers never reached the same peak levels again. She can't figure out whether the problem is related to her territory or the fact that she lost her drive to show the guys up.
