Hints to Remove Age Indicators from Letters
Let's start with ways to remove age from your letters first then look at some general hints for better letter writing.
Archaic, outmoded business expressions: Traditionally, business writers used a number of utilitarian phrases which sound stilted and unfriendly today. They also sound as though you failed to stay current.
In short, they tell your readers that you're not up-to-date. The quickest way to put distance between you and your reader is to fill your correspondence with these phrases. Writing in a more conversational style eliminates this distance and brings you closer to your reader, without being too familiar.
Use of slang, buzz words, jargon, and technical words: Certain words become fashionable in business for periods of time and writers become attached to them. They continue to use them to show their current with the latest trends. The words are stylish for a time, but quickly become passé. The problem: When you continue to use them long after they've gone out of general usage, you're dated. And, of course, using industry-specific jargon and technical words can be a big turn-off to people in other industries or to people who don't understand the technical side (people in the human resources department, for instance).
Word choice: Use the right word to express what you mean. Choose the simple word instead of the complex, the concrete word instead of the abstract, the single word instead of the phrase. Writing styles of older executives often contain the following flaws:
- Using abstract words instead of concrete words. Abstract words deal with concepts; concrete words deal with reality-they represent something that can be seen, felt, touched or heard. Abstractions such as good, bad, nice, fine, moderate, conservative, liberal are imprecise, and really don't tell anything. Instead of bad, why not use defective, flawed or spoiled. Instead of good, how about competent, skillful, able, capable, efficient, fit, qualified! But many writers also clutter their letters with multi syllabic words that are less vivid and concrete than short, plain words. This also cuts down on the readability of what you write. It takes more time to recognize multisyllabic words than it does one- and two-syllable words.
- Using a noun form of a word when a verb form would be better.
This is the bane of executive writing in general. Many executives, who should know better, will change a perfectly good and useful verb into a noun by adding tion, -ation, - ion, -sion, -ance, -ence and -ment. Then they'll use the resulting word in a phrase and use a weak verb such as is, are, was, were, will, took, get, come, have, give, provide to show action. For instance, "We took the cost into consideration before we made a decision," is not nearly as strong as, "We considered the cost before we decided."
- Similarly, a word that can be used as either a noun or a verb can weaken the sentence when it's used as a noun and another verb does the action. This makes the sentence longer and wordier, too. Example: "The accomplishment of our cost reduction was made by March 25, at which time the implementation of the revised procedures was plant-wide," is very wordy and not too understandable. Simplified, itreads: "Wereduced our costs by March 25 and implemented the revised procedures through-out the plant."
- Making verbs out of nouns, adjectives and adverbs by adding -ize or -ate to the end of a word is equally bad. For instance: collective + ize = collectivize. Others: legitimize, randomize, systematize, incentivize, methodize, interpretive (instead of interpret) or effectuate (instead of effect). These sound smart-aleck, trendy or, in the case of the words with ate endings, uneducated. A related mistake is adding -wise to the end of a word to attempt to condense a complex idea into a single word. "Profit-wise, I made the decision to phase out that product line." "By purchasing the chemical feedstocks in advance of the price increase, I put the company in an enviable position, material- wise!" These sound pompous and cause readers to feel the writers have an overinflated sense of their own importance.
- Using incorrect or imprecise words. Sometimes even well-educated executives will choose an incorrect or imprecise word because it sounds like the one they mean. The following words are often used in letters and in resumes during job hunting. Use the dictionary to be sure you've chosen the right one to express your meaning.
Use colorful, active verbs. Another practice which dates letter writers is the form of their sentences. Writers actually make two different kinds of mistakes here. First, they use colorless and imprecise verbs. They write the verb think when they could use a meaty and more interesting verb such as confirm, verify, conceive, judge, corroborate, decide, settle, resolve, surmise, discover or determine. Using any of the other words would have shaded the meaning of the sentence and given a much clearer picture of their intent. If you are using a computer with a word processing program that has a thesaurus function, use it to find the better, more precise word. If you don't, purchase a paperback thesaurus and use that.
Your writing will be much more interesting. Some common examples of overused words and clearer, more precise substitutes:
Second, older writers use too many passive verbs and passive sentences. When you're looking for a job, you're trying to tell what you can do. You should be the subject of your writing, even if you are implied. By using passive verbs and sentences, you lose your personal claim on the action and remove yourself from the arena. For instance:
The defective design of the pulverize was corrected before installation by the contractor, saving $10,000.
You aren't even in the preceding sentence. The reader is left to wonder who corrected the design. The contractor? Notice how much clearer the meaning is in the rewritten sentence:
I corrected the defective design of a pulverize before the contractor installed it, saving $10,000.
But the real problem with passive verbs is deeper than this. Letters filled with passive verbs may give the reader the impression that:
- The writer is not accepting responsibility.
- The writer is dull and long-winded.
- The writer doesn't have anything important to say and/or is uninteresting.
- The writer was not involved and doesn't care.
