To get started off on the right foot, think about three questions (and the answers that follow):
A. What does it take to generate a workable plan of action for the freshman year?
- A good relationship between the parent(s) and the student.
- An agreed upon direction.
- A degree of flexibility for all involved.
- Is the student prepared to select a major now, or will he/she explore options by taking classes in areas of interest? Does the college allow/support exploration?
- Select classes that support the major or help with exploration. Ask older students about professors and class requirements.
- Explore the campus itself via both computer and personal investigation. Find out where every resource is located. Visit the student's advisor.
- Students should put forth a special effort to make friends. Dorms, classes, cafeterias, clubs, sports, and work, and are all good ways to meet people.
- Determine what college clubs, organizations, and activities support the student's direction and goals.
- Identify off-campus organizations and activities that support that direction and those goals.
- Participation is a key to success. Students don't become successful by remaining in their dorm rooms. Each student should try to participate in something where they can make a contribution.
- Consider the options with regard to work. Students can work on-campus or off- campus. Investigate part-time work in your field of interest.
- Take a look at possible community service activities. What services, causes, and community needs are important to the student?
- Study habits and academic achievement should be discussed. A GPA below 2.7 on a 4-point scale will not help all that much. A "B" average or better is expected by the most sought-after employers and graduate schools.
- Who are the most influential people on campus and in your field?
- End up with a simple, realistic plan that the student and the parents can live with.
- Discuss past successes and failures. But, try to spend 95% of the time on the positives. Be prepared to offer encouragement and suggest alternatives.
- Encourage students to make most of their own decisions. Generally, your job is to offer advice and guidance, not make decisions for them. Recognize that some mistakes are inevitable. Expect them, and be prepared to address them.
- Always be happy to talk with the student about anything that concerns him or her.
- Show your support for the student. Be a good listener.
- Stay out of most campus problems. Do not talk to a professor about an assignment, grade, or something similar. That is not our role as parents. Students must learn to handle things like that on their own.
- Recognize that your children are not you. They will have their own needs, wants, goals, and ways of doing things.
When parents and students work together and are in agreement, the chances of success are greatly improved and their relationship will be strengthened.
About the Author
Bob Roth is the author of The 4 Realities of Success During and After College and The College Student’s Guide to Landing a Great Job. Visit Bob’s website at www.The4Realities.com.
