Cell Phone Etiquette

Q: Have you ever been in a grocery store, bank, etc. and been behind someone in line who is twittering away incessantly on the cell phone? Have you ever been behind someone at the fast food drive-through who is placing an order at the same time they are talking on the phone getting everyone's order and specifications? Have you ever been in a meeting where someone's cell phone went off and then they apologized? Why didn't they turn it off in the first place [expletives deleted]? Of course, most of us have experienced all three situations and probably been guilty as well.

A: Today I will have a little fun with the column and hopefully provide a few of us with some Emily Post-style etiquette. (For those of you under 30 or so who don't know this name, Emily Post was the doyenne of good manners for over half a century.) Let me start with a true and somewhat humorous story (well, depending on your perspective). There is an outdoor amphitheatre in Dayton that brings in top acts. (Ringo Starr, for example, was just there.) During one concert I attended, there was a ''patron'' chatting away on the cell phone while the concert was going on. This was disturbing everyone around, but the person was totally oblivious. Finally, a man in front of the person turned around, grabbed the phone and threw it over the fence. He received a standing ovation. I would never suggest something quite that drastic, but….

1) If you are going into any type of meeting, turn the phone off. Don't just put it on vibrate or silent. In fact, leave it in the car. If a phone call is more important than the meeting, what are you doing there in the first place? If you leave it in the car, you won't have to forget to turn it off and you won't be tempted by it. Yes, I know, you might be bored. So what did we do at boring meetings before cell phones? We threw paper airplanes. That was so much more mature. Of course, there are exceptions, such as when you are waiting for information for the meeting.



2) This should be 1A: No texting either. Is it really that important that your child can't leave a message that they are going to so-and-so's house after school, or that your best friend can't leave one about where you are meeting after work? I hate this one even more than the straight cell phone. Our kids have won. They have us addicted to texting.

3) If you are at dinner with me, in a one-on-one meeting, on the golf course, etc., let the friggin' message go to the voicemail. If I am not more important than the cell phone, just let me know, and I will drive separately and golf alone or with the alligators.

4) This can be 3B or 2B, depending on how you are counting. I read a story around 18 months ago about how BlackBerries are starting to affect couples' intimate lives. They take the suckers to bed and are doing calls, text messaging, emails, and who knows what the heck else until all hours of the night. Talk about a blow to the ego. Why don't you people get a life?

5) If you are driving and don't know where you are going, get off the cell phone and pay attention. Or at least use your GPS. That will tell you something, and if you have an accident, at least you will have a reasonable excuse. If you are a poor driver anyway (like me), turn it off and leave it alone. You literally can't afford the distraction.

6) If you are standing in line somewhere, don't talk on the phone. It is considered rude, and many places are putting up signs banning it. Kind of like those ''no shirt, no shoes, no service'' signs. In fact, it is always much more interesting to talk with strangers and see their reactions when someone they have never met starts up a conversation.

7) If you are talking with me on a landline and the cell phone rings, don't tell me to wait a minute and then pick up the cell phone and talk so I can hear the conversation. At least put me on hold. If it is the cell phone we are talking on and the landline rings, then most of us are in real trouble because we don't know how to operate the mute or hold feature on the friggin' cell phone. Who came up with all these ''conveniences'' anyway? Couldn't you at least include an 11-year-old?

8) Have some free time away from the cell phone. Some of us are old enough to remember when, as kids, we had free time from the TV. Our parents called it that to make us think the alternative was much more fun. We are already addicted to computers. Isn't that enough?

9) If you don't have reception where you are, don't freak out. You don't have reception there on your home and/or office phone either.

I have done my Andy Rooney tirade long enough. My apologies to Andy, by the way, especially if I have unintentionally plagiarized some material.

I will close with one last cell phone story. Back in the '90s, when our youngest daughter was still in high school, we used to give her one of our cell phones in case of an emergency, so we could find her, etc. She always turned it off. She was smarter than us, but at least we saved on the minutes.

Here's Wishing You Terrific Hunting,

Bill

About the Author

Bill Gaffney has 17 years of experience as an executive recruiter and career coach. His humor is all used up for this week. Bill can be reached at 937-567-5267 or wmgaffney@prodigy.net. For questions to be considered for this column, please email askamaxa@yahoo.com.