Compete Where You Can Win: Quit Beating Your Head Against the Wall and Go Where the Love Is

Why is selling ourselves — whether to a prospective employer or client — so tough? Whether you've looked for a job, a promotion at work, or additional clients for your business, you've probably experienced the joy of trying to sell your expertise, your services, or your resume and ''hireability'' to someone else — and it can be brutal. Personally, I enjoy trying to drum up business in a tight market as much as the next gal, but the fact remains that if we're not willing to consistently reach out to fill the pipeline, ask clients for their business, or otherwise put ourselves on the line, we're going to have a heck of a time trying to reach our goals.

But that doesn’t change the fact that selling ourselves can be tough. Between the rejections, the unanswered phone calls, and the unreturned emails, it’s far too easy to take it personally, give up altogether, and, even worse, assume that they are ''right'' and you are ''wrong'' when your efforts go unrewarded. Instead of beating your head against the wall and quitting now, though, take a hard look at your efforts over the past year and go where the love is.

Go with Your Super Strengths

What are your super strengths? What is the one thing (or two or three things) that you feel that you can do better than most people? Often, we compete for jobs or opportunities that don’t necessarily play to our strengths, according to Penelope Trunk in her article ''If You Don’t Stand Out, Consider a Career Change'' (CareerJournal.com). As Ms. Trunk points out, ''If you haven't had a promising interview in the past six months, you should consider the possibility that you aren't a top candidate. In this job market, it isn't good to be anything but a top candidate.''

Rather than feel like a victim of circumstances, however, Ms. Trunk advises you to consider the following: ''Like it or not, the world caters to those who are great at what they do. Instead of engaging in a discussion about what's fair, ask yourself, ‘What will make the best use of my inherent gifts?’ People are usually happiest and most excited about their work when they're using their skills and talents to the fullest.''

If you have a sneaking suspicion that you aren’t playing to your super strengths, take a deep breath and assess your actions over the past six months. Have you been pursuing opportunities that are so competitive that anyone besides Bill Gates wouldn’t stand a chance? Are you getting an unusually hefty amount of rejection letters? Then again, maybe you’re attempting to transition into a new career or have just launched a business, in which case a little extra dose of rejection may not be so unheard of. The key here is to give yourself a little heart-to-heart and seek the input of trusted friends or others in your network. For instance, ask a friend, ''When you think of me and my strengths, what are the top two things that come to mind?'' Sometimes, we’re so immersed in our own worlds that we can’t see the forest for the trees, so get some outside perspectives to remind you of what you probably already know about yourself anyway.

Get in It to Win It

Call me a crazy optimist, but I’d like to think that most of us won’t let a few measly rejections get in the way of pursuing an opportunity that really matters to us, and that there really is room at the top for more than one. If you’re in agreement, then we’ve got to believe in ourselves and our product like never before. Often, particularly in the face of rejection, we start to lose faith, and one no too many sends us running for the bubble bath, where we sit and let the doubt creep in: ''Maybe I’m in the wrong business.'' ''Maybe I’m going for a job that’s just way too competitive.'' ''Maybe I’m a total idiot for thinking this would ever work out at all.''

You’ve heard it before, but allow me to repeat this obvious truth: If we don’t believe in ourselves, who will? If we can’t get 100% behind our product — whether that product is our business or our experience on a resume — then why should anybody else?

Deep down, if you aren’t quite sure whether you’ve got what it takes, remind yourself that nobody has to know that but you. Here’s some sage advice from Brian Tracy, sales and motivational guru and president of Brian Tracy International: ''Before you make that phone call, walk into the room for your interview, or otherwise put yourself on the line, take a deep breath, give yourself some love, and say, ‘I am the best. I am the best. I am the very best.’''

With confidence, you believe in you, and getting one step closer to your goal becomes a heck of a lot easier. With a real belief in yourself and your abilities, you are able to better withstand the rejections that come with the territory of trying to get ahead in the world. Heck, you might even become one of those kooks that begins to like hearing no — after all, one more no brings us that much closer to a yes, right?

If all else fails and you’re having a tough time trying to muster up some good, old-fashioned confidence, be inspired by the story of Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, founders of the popular Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Talk about believing in their product: These two men had their book proposal rejected 140 times before it was bought by a publisher. 90 million books later, the rest is history. When you truly believe in what you’re selling, you’ve got an intensity, an energy, and an endurance to persist, no matter what.

About the Author

Elizabeth Freedman, MBA, is an award-winning speaker and business columnist. Throughout the year, Elizabeth Freedman speaks at universities, organizations, and regional and national conferences to help college students, MBA students, and new professionals transform into leaders, savvy marketers, team players, and, ultimately, successful employees. For more information about Elizabeth Freedman, please visit her website online at http://www.elizabethfreedman.com.

391

19

Compete Where You Can Win: Quit Beating Your Head Against the Wall and Go Where the Love Is