Resenting Feedback is Common and Expected
The in-built psychological defense mechanism of ‘external blame attribution’ in humans often puts us on the defensive against feedbacks and subconsciously urges us to view complaints and feedback as unjustified. Average employees hate feedbacks and complaints and fight back; outstanding workers welcome them and use feedbacks and complaints to improve their careers.
Tips on Managing Feedbacks
• Be Careful of Your Language: When either creating a feedback or responding to a feedback or complaint, one needs to be very careful for it is normal for involved parties to be on the edge and on the defensive. This applies as much to those receiving responses on their feedbacks as to those who are responding to them.
• Go Easy: Empathize with those providing feedbacks, complaints or responses over feedbacks. Create a ‘let’s work this out together’ situation rather than sticking to an ‘I am right, and you’re wrong’ or ‘I’m sorry, I was wrong’ approach. Feedbacks are fertile ground for conflicts.
• Make the Process of Feedback Transparent and Unbiased: The psychological mechanism of “external blame attribution” can both create wrong feedbacks and similarly wrong responses. It is important to understand that many times, both sides of a conflict over a complaint or feedback find common ground and resolve conflicts by jointly engaging in external blame attribution. They blame the system and forget about the feedback, as well as the necessity to learn from the feedback and improve processes, in face-saving exercises. This is why it is extremely important to create feedback processes that are transparent and unbiased.
• Ensure Conflict Resolution: Each feedback process must end in a satisfied situation. Both the provider of the feedback/complaint and the receiver should reach a position where both perceive improvements resulting from the feedback. Never, ever, leave feedbacks unresolved.
The entire feedback process should be used as an opportunity to create greater workplace satisfaction for all parties involved in the process. Go out and thank people for providing feedbacks, and thank those who provide responses. In feedbacks, be congenial and not judgmental, and they’ll help you change your life for the better. Remember it is very easy to lose relations over feedbacks and complaints, and responses need to be level-headed and carefully managed.
