Why to have a mentor
When you have a mentor you can develop a clearly defined concept of self and a network of contacts to depend upon to reach your goal.
It is common to find people having more than one mentor; each serving a different purpose - one lending help to reach career goal and another to shape them as mother.
Women benefit the most from a mentor, say experts. A woman having a mentor feels that she has someone in her life to care about her, listen to her and question her without any agenda. He celebrates your success with you and you can go to him to get your doubts cleared. Women, experts opine, need this sort of support especially if one wants to reach the top.
Finding the one
You should go for a mentor only when you are willing to take his advice and criticism and able to maintain relationships.Not everybody is meant to be mentor. The process of finding a mentor is similar to dating because the one you are looking for should suit your chemistry. You should be able to feel comfortable with him and can communicate with him. Both of you should have similar interests and goals.
You must cast a wide net to get the right fit, counsel dating coaches. You are advised to email everyone you know informing them that you are looking for a mentor. You should clearly tell them what you are looking for. Besides, take a look around you to find whether there is a professor or an executive who fits your requirements.
After preparing a list of potential mentor, meet with each one of them. Have a list of questions to determine your compatibility with the mentor. Be satisfied that person has everything you want to learn. And above all, you should be sure that you can get on well with him.
You can also take a look at formal mentor programs often offered by companies or professional organizations. If you are not sure that you will be able to get much help from them, be bold to launch your own search.
Avoid Mr. Wrong
Don't take too seriously the similarities between dating and mentoring and don't make the mistake of merging the two. There is nothing wrong if you ask men to mentor you. But you should take extra caution to keep the relationship as purely a business understanding right from the beginning. It is better to avoid mentoring relationships where there is a lot of sexual tension. Use your sixth sense and don't ignore flirtation. Avoid Mr. Wrong.
The proposal
Once you have identified a mentor, the next step is to approach him with the proposal. This is the toughest part of the exercise. Women have a unique sense of pride and it becomes very difficult for them to admit their weakness and seek help. Be calm and explain to him that you want him to mentor you. Do express your admiration for him. Once decided to go ahead with the relationship, be specific about what you want to gain from this relationship.
Set some parameters
Now set parameters such as agreeing to have monthly meetings. Telephone calls and emails can supplement the meetings. Be clear about your goals and deadlines for achievement. Discuss basic rules such as when it is appropriate and when inappropriate to call. Discuss the issue of confidentiality of discussions and meetings. You must follow thoroughly the assignments you are given.
Remember that being open to learning is the key to success of the relationship.
