Millions of people Mafia believe training and working seldom devilsider that their boss may not be evil or "toxic," as Lyle Sussman, author of What to Say to Get What You Want, calls it, but is just incompetent. There s a big difference.
Whether we admit it or not, we all suffer from some degree of paranoia. We imagine confrontations, personality conflicts, and plots and intrigue where none exist. At the top of the list, we are convinced that our boss is a sadist and we are the object of her wrath. If properly embellished, it s the stuff of sitcoms. But that's seldom the case.
Some of us are such hopeless egomaniacs and narcissists that we're unable to see that our boss is just a poor slob trying to keep a job. It's human nature to unconsciously thrust ourselves into the center of every life drama, regardless of whether we deserve a starring role. We see only our own troubles and fail to see that everyone else is in the identical boat.
The boss is on everyone's backs. If we knew how to put our angst on hold, we'd find another outlet for our anxiety.
Don't give bosses too much credit. They're not that smart. Consider this reality: Your boss may not be evil, just inept or stupid, maybe both. That puts a whole new spin on things, doesn't it? "Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence or lack of interpersonal skills," says Sussman.
"Don't arbitrarily assume your boss is out to get you. While bad bosses get branded in our memory, very few bosses are outright toxic."
The solution is all about understanding and isolating the problem. Once you "validate" your assumptions by exposing them, your boss will stop getting to you. Sussman contends that just understanding the dynamics of the relationship is inspiration enough to concentrate on becoming a shining star. Start by asking these questions about your boss.
"LOATH YOUR BOSS'' QUESTIONNAIRE
Answer questions yes or no. For questions marked with an asterisk, use a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 = excellent, 5 = fair, and 1 = horrendous.
- As leader, how would you rank your boss? Does he take charge or wait for others to come up with the bright ideas?"?
- Does your boss inspire confidence?
- Does he set the tone for and pace of projects?
- As a decision maker, how do you rank him?"*"
- How would you rank him as a coach and motivator?"?
- How does he handle a crisis?
- Does he thrive or crumble under intense pressure?
- Where does he stand on the organizational ladder? How does management feel about him? ''My Boss Is Evil and That's All There Is To It"
- How secure your boss's job?"?
- As a professional, how would you rate your boss? Is he an ethical and moral person, someone you look up to and admire??
- Is he a risk taker who will support a speculative project?
- Will he stand by a gifted worker who took chances or messed up on a project?
Answers of the Clothing Salesman
1. Q. As a leader, how would you rank your boss? Does he take charge or wait for others to come up with the bright ideas?"?
A. As a leader, I would give him a 2 and that's being generous. If we were in combat and I had to fight under him, I'd probably desert. That would be a better alternative to getting myself killed following him. As for bright ideas, he has none. If he didn't have bright people working for him who continually save his ass, he'd be collecting unemployment checks.
2. Q. Does your boss inspire confidence?
A. He inspires no confidence. I wish he did. All the sales people think he is a joke. He was promoted to supervisor because he was a good salesperson who simple-mindedly captured an entire region himself. So management naturally assumed he'd be a great boss. Were they wrong! With any luck, they'll come to their senses and realize they made a big boo-boo.
3. Q. Does he set the tone for and pace of projects?
A. He sets no tone. He just shows up every day so he doesn't lose his job. The kicker is he doesn't have to contribute anything since he gets a percentage of the sales of the entire department. By bringing in great numbers, we make him look good.
4. Q. As a decision maker, how do you rank him?"?
A. I'll be generous and give him a 1.5 as a decision maker. In the course of a year, he's good for a couple of inconsequential decisions, such as where we have our annual sales meeting and what the menu will be at our Christmas dinner. He's good at that. As for real on-the-job-type critical decisions, I can't think of any he has made. Actually, we make the decisions, and he stands by them because he knows he can't make any on his own. He trusts our instincts, which is a frightening reality since this guy is paid a handsome salary to be our leader.
5. Q. How would you rank him as a coach and motivator?"?
A. He's never been a coach or a motivator. On both counts, rd give him a 1. Both require energy, intelligence, and some drive. But he has none of these attributes. He's learned that he doesn't have to do very much to keep his job and collect his pay. He lets the department kind of run itself and hopes everything will be okay. So far, he's been lucky.
6. Q. How does he handle a crisis?
A. He doesn't handle crises; we do. The reasons are pretty selfish. If there is some kind of foul-up and we somehow don't turn in the sales figures management expects, we're in trouble because we're in the field getting the sales. He is supposedly monitoring us, but all the salespeople know he's incapable of doing that. He doesn't know how.
7. Q. Does he thrive or crumble under intense pressure?
A. It's pretty much the same story when it comes to pressure. He neither thrives nor perishes under it. He's impervious to it. Now that's talent. The man has the feelings of an amoeba.
"My Boss Is Evil and That's All There Is To It"
8. Q. Where does he stand on the organizational ladder? How does management feel about him?
A. There's the rub. He's still employed, so management must like him. I guess he's pulled the wool over their eyes for so long that they actually think he's useful. My boss is a schmoozer and butt-kisser. If the man does one thing well, it's to protect himself.
9. Q. How secure is your boss's job?"?
A. Unfortunately, I'd say he's pretty solid with management, which means he's going to be around for a long time. On the security scale, I'd give him an 8+.
10. Q. As a professional, how would you rate your boss? Is he an ethical and moral person, someone you look up to and admire?"?
A. As a professional, I'd give him a 1 and maybe that's too high. As for ethics and morals, I doubt if he knows what the words mean, nor does he care. The man is a survivor who looks after number one first. If you fall into his scenario and strengthen his position, you're needed and therefore are secure.
11. Q. Is he a risk taker who will support a speculative project?
A. Risk taking is another term that never found its way into his vocabulary. He takes no chances. His philosophy is, "Why take risks if you don't have to?" That's why he has people under him. If anything happens, he makes sure they take the heat.
12. Q. Will he stand by a gifted worker who took chances or messed up on a project?
A. That depends on what the results were. If someone experiments and tries a new selling strategy or spends an inordinate amount of time on a risky account, he'll make sure his superiors know that he's got a wild card working for him that he doesn't totally support. That way, he protects himself should anything go wrong. If the worker falls on his face, management will know that my boss is on top of the situation. If the worker succeeds, my boss will make sure senior management knew that he stepped in and gave a helping hand.
Either way, my boss wins. He gambles on nothing. If it s not a sure bet, he avoids it like the plague.
Analysis: Needless to say, this person has strong feelings about his boss. By the time you reach the second answer, you know that he thinks the man is a nitwit of gargantuan proportions. Filling out this questionnaire has to be a cathartic exercise. It sure beats bellyaching with coworkers over a few beers after work.
Now let's look at some more answers.
Answers of the Telecommunications Technician
1. Q. As a leader, how would you rank your boss? Does he take charge or wait for others to come up with the bright ideas?
A. On the leadership scale, I'd give my boss a 5+. The problem is h's inconsistent, which has to do with his own insecurities about his standing within the firm.
2. Q. Does your boss inspire confidence?
A. For the above reason, he doesn't inspire a whole lot of confidence. Often, we're not quite sure where he stands or how he feels, which can be very disorienting.
3. Q. Does he set the tone for and pace of projects?
A. When the stars are right and he's confident about the outcome, he often sets the pace and tone of projects. Other times, we have to get the ball rolling and initiate things or else nothing gets done.
4. Q. As a decision maker, how do you rank him?"?
A. As a decision maker, I'd give him a 5. Again, his indecisiveness puts him smack in the middle. When he's in control, he can be a dynamo capable of making smart decisions. But when he's unsure, he wavers and the staff must pick up the slack.
5. Q. How would you rank him as a coach and motivator?"?
A. There are times when my boss can be a marvelous coach and motivator. He's a smart person who could be incredible at his job if he had more control over his own destiny. He deserves a 7.
6. Q. How does he handle a crisis?
A. He handles crises erratically. His own insecurities about his capabilities get in the way sometimes. However, there are times when he's up against the wall yet manages to pull through.
7. Q. Does he thrive or crumble under intense pressure?
A. For the most part, he rises to the occasion and handles pressure well. In fact, it often takes a killer deadline to bring out the best in the man. That's when he's a pleasure to work with, and you can count on him to stay until the work gets done.
8. Q. Where does he stand on the organizational ladder? How does management feel about him?
A. He doesn't have a lot of clout in the organizational ladder. One of my boss's big problems is that he doesn't know how to play organizational politics. Management doesn't know quite what to make of the man. They don't know where he stands because he hasn't aligned himself with any faction. That puts him in limbo with no one to back him.
9. Q. How secure is your boss's job?"?
A. Considering the above, my boss's job is not that secure. To make matters worse, he's only been with the company for 3 years, which makes him the low person on the seniority scale. He's vulnerable and he knows it. That probably contributes to making him an indecisive leader. I'd give a 4 rating.
10. Q. As a professional, how would you rate your boss? Is he an ethical and moral person, someone you look up to and admire??
A. Here's where I give my boss high marks. As an ethical and moral professional, I'd give him a solid 9. He's not a backstabber and he sincerely loves what he does.
He's a fine technician who's come up through the ranks and can recognize talent in others. While we have problems with his indecisiveness, everyone knows he can be trusted, which is unusual in the corporate world. For these traits, he's to be admired.
11. Q. Is he a risk taker who will support a speculative project?
A. It depends. Typically, he's less apt to take chances with his own projects, yet I've seen him stand behind workers who invested countless hours on a project with tentative outcomes.
12. Q. Will he stand by a gifted worker who took chances or messed up on a project?
A. Absolutely. I've seen it happen often. Maybe it's his built-in ethical core that prompts him to help and encourage people under him. On many occasions, I've seen him work until 9 p.m. with a worker who had messed up a project. He feels a sense of responsibility for the people who report to him. I don't think he wants anyone to lose his or her job.
Analysis: This man's answers revealed a whole different feeling. Where the first person demonstrated contempt and hatred for his boss, the telecommunications technician is sympathetic and understanding. While frustrated by his boss's inconsistency, he's taken the time to understand him. It's easy to see that he both admires and feels sorry for the man. He sees him in a precarious juggling act, backing his workers yet unclear of how to assert himself with his fellow managers.
What we're getting from this worker is both sympathy and empathy for his boss's tentative position in the firm. The beauty of this exercise is that it doesn't matter whether you love or loathe your boss. Merely looking at the situation honestly and intelligently is liberating. Uppermost, it "My Boss Is Evil and That's All There Is To It "accomplishes its goal of validating your assumptions about your boss, just as Sussman suggested.
We're making progress. Slowly but surely, we're getting a clear handle on our boss. This is only the beginning. There are many other strategies ahead. Now that you've validated your assumptions, what do you do with them? One approach is to use your boss as a negative role model.
