An objective and understanding home support system is critical to the success of any executive. Long hours, constant travel, and tension present situations that family members must understand. When an executive starts getting pressure from home, it won't take long before it manifests itself in poor job performance.
Therefore, for most high-level positions, companies make it a practice to informally interview the spouse of a candidate. Frequently, this interview occurs in a casual setting, such as dinner, but you can be assured that the host and hostess will vigorously compare notes once the evening ends.
MISCONCEPTION
If you have great qualifications and an excellent track record, your home life will be of no concern to potential employers.
REALITY
Employers are very concerned about the degree of support candidates will receive from family members.
I've seen several deals fall apart at this late stage because of a spouse's comments made over dinner. One case in particular stands out. Robert and his wife, Susan, had flown to Atlanta to have dinner with the CEO and his girlfriend. The position at stake was VP of finance for a $100M manufacturer of industrial-metal products. Robert came across very well in the interviews, and the management team held him in high regard. The dinner was designed to be more of a social event. In addition, Robert and Susan were using the trip to look at housing since they would have to relocate if all went as expected.
Right after cocktails, Susan started asking the CEO's girlfriend a number of very personal questions.
- "Have you ever been married?"
- "Are you planning to get married soon?"
- "Where did you buy that dress?"
Robert had a liability he couldn't control-his wife.
During the course of a three-hour dinner with drinks, people cannot hide their true colors. Negative digs or comments from a spouse about travel, long hours, and time away from the family will concern potential employers. Another mistake often made by a
MISCONCEPTION
Employers are dutifully impressed with spouses who are very focused on their own careers.
REALITY
If your spouse gives the impression that his or her career is more important than yours, it could negatively impact on the company's impression of you. spouse is controlling the conversation with his or her own job and career stories. Whoever is picking up the tab for dinner wants to hear about the spouse's support of the applicant, not how he or she is going to get promoted to a new position. Any time the spouse leaves the impression that his or her career is more important than the job seeker's, it will likely result in a knockout blow for the candidate.
However, a positive side to this coin exists. Your spouse can be an asset who helps you land a job. One of the most striking comments I can recall from a reference check was made about a candidate's wife being an asset to her husband and the company.
Executive positions require tremendous understanding from your better half. This kind of support will go a long way in helping you land a position. Therefore, helping your spouse through a potentially uncomfortable situation can be as easy as taking the time to provide background information on the people who will attend the informal meeting.
You should be careful not to over prepare. Stick to social issues like previous homes, the number and ages of children, and inquiries about the local community.
The spouse should always refrain from getting involved in a focused strategy or market discussion, even if he or she can meaningfully add to the conversation. It is critical to ensure your spouse keeps a proper perspective because you're the one looking for the job.
If your spouse is an asset, it is prudent to include him or her in the tryout. But if you are apprehensive that your spouse may create the wrong image or perception, it's best to bow out with a reasonable excuse.
For better or worse, your spouse can have a definite impact on your chances of landing a great position. Just be sure you know where your better half stands.
