Without belaboring what you may have already experienced firsthand, let me say simply that looking for a job tests you in ways you've probably never been tested before. It puts pressure on almost every facet of your life: on your relationship with your spouse, with your children, and with your friends-particularly if a lot of your friends work for the company you've been forced to leave. It can interfere with your sex life; make it harder for you to enjoy your leisure pastimes. You may have trouble concentrating long enough to read a newspaper or to watch a movie. You'll probably be more short-tempered than you usually are. Fatigue may strike more frequently.
It's all to be expected. According to a "life events" stress table developed by a physician named Richard Rahe, loss of a job has more stress impact than the death of a close friend. In fact, out of more than fifty life events that Dr. Rahe maintains will produce stress in the average person, being out of a job ranks eighth.
Each of us, of course, reacts differently to stress, and some of us are undoubtedly better than others at resisting its effects. I'm hardly an expert on the subject, but I've always been interested in why some job seekers deal with the pressures much better than others. A lot of it, I'm sure, has to do with basic self-esteem and self-confidence-the inherent feeling that you're too good a man or woman to be out of a job for long. But don't ask me how you instill this in a person. I can still remember how devastated I was years ago when a woman who was interviewing me told me I wasn't worth the $15 a week (yes, $15 a week) I was asking. On the other hand, I've noticed that the people who deal with the pressures of job hunting best tend to operate differently from those who run into trouble keeping up their spirit. And it's on the basis of these observations that I offer the following list of suggestions designed to help you cope a little better. None of them is a panacea, and not all of them may have relevance to your situation, but keep them all in mind just the same. They could help.
1. Establish a job search routine. While you were working, you probably had a set routine, governed by the hours and the nature of your job. Being out of work, apart from everything else, completely disrupts this routine and the comfort you may have found in it. To counteract the tendency common among many job seekers to waste time (and then to feel guilty because of it), set up a schedule for yourself and follow it as faithfully as you would if you were still working and expected to show up at the job at the same time each day. Don't worry about "filling" this time. If you're conducting your job search in earnest, you'll have more than enough things to do to occupy your time.
2. Don't keep your situation a secret. There is only one truly valid reason for keeping the fact that you're looking for a job a secret, and that is if you still happen to be working and don't want to jeopardize your position. Otherwise, concealing the truth only increases the pressure you are already under and, worse, limits your job lead sources. The most fruitful sources of job leads are your friends and business associates. If they don't know you're out of work (or know it but don't want to offer help because you haven't asked for it), they can't do you much good.
3. Put yourself on a budget but don't overreact. You're undoubtedly going to have to set up some sort of a budget. It should be built around the money you have in reserve and the money you can expect from severance or unemployment, along with the amount of time you figure you'll be looking for work; but it shouldn't box you in so tightly that everybody in your family suffers unnecessarily. Don't be too quick to lop certain "luxuries" (beauty parlor appointments, for instance) off your expenditures list. Any expense that contributes to your appearance or your physical shape isn't a luxury when you're looking for work-it's a necessity.
4. Keep a lot of irons in the fire. At any given time in your job search, you should have not one but as many as a half dozen or so possibilities in the works. That way, if any one job you've been counting on a falls through, you have other possibilities to fall back on. Keep in mind what I mentioned earlier about winding down too soon.
5. Keep up your health-and your appearance. Stress can often affect your ability to ward off sickness. It can cause you to gain weight you don't need or lose weight you can't really afford to lose. So be extra careful. Eat well-balanced meals. Take vitamins. Get at least some exercise every day, and try to spend at least a half hour a day, if not more, out of doors to keep a robust look on your complexion. Remember, nobody is going to hire you for a good job if you appear unhealthy.
6. Don't withdraw from family and friends. The people closest to you-your family members and your friends-can be enormously supportive, but you have to be open to their help. Don't be shy about asking friends for favors: you'll have plenty of time to show your appreciation. But don't become a drudge or a bore. Looking for a job may be the most important thing in your life, but your friends and your family members have other interests, too. Fight the tendency to become self-absorbed and self-pitying.
7. Take a temporary job. Part-time is ideal as you'll still have time to devote to your job search. Temporary work will not only ease the financial pressure on you; it will give some structure to your life and could well expose you to job leads that might result in good jobs. I can't tell you how many people who've used Accountemps service (which employs people in temporary jobs) have eventually landed full-time jobs in one of the companies they worked with. Under certain situations I would even recommend taking on a volunteer job, especially if the job is something you enjoy and if it's possible to meet potential employers.
8. Do something to improve yourself. You're going to have a lot of empty time spaces to fill during your daily job search routine, so take advantage of them. Get well versed in a subject that's always interested you. Improve your vocabulary. Use the time productively, and the benefits can't help but make you more effective in the job search.
9. Don't get your hopes up too high. Probably the toughest thing to deal with when you're looking for work are job prospects that fall through just as everything looked as if it were going to come into place. To control this problem, resist the temptation to think of certain situations as being more promising than others. Take each step of each situation you move into one at a time. Don't get the champagne ready until the offer is signed and sealed. Above all, don't put too much stock in the "offers" you got when you were still working; chances are, they weren't genuine offers, anyway. The best way to keep your morale and spirit on the "up" side is to keep your hopes under wraps.
10. Learn from your mistakes. If you can learn something from the jobs you don't get, the disappointment won't be as hard to take and you'll increase your chances for success the next time around. Don't waste time brooding about your bad luck. Always assume that there was something you could have done better to get you the offer. Try to figure out what it is, and don't make the same mistake the next time.
