Let's set the depressing stage. Your boss has just informed you, presumably with difficulty, that you're going to have to be let go. Maybe you're sitting in the boss's office; maybe the two of you are at lunch. In all likelihood, the boss is going to be kind when you're given this news. You'll be complimented on those aspects of your job performance that were praiseworthy. You'll be told, most likely, that with your skills and personality, you're probably going to be happier and do better somewhere else. You will also be told that the boss and company will do their best to see to it that you find another job without creating too major a disruption in your life.
Let the person firing you deliver the message and, as hard as it may be for you, don't respond emotionally. In the event you feel yourself losing control, ask if you can have some time to yourself to collect your thoughts, but do this as a last resort. Go outside and take a walk. Go to a restroom. If you have the urge to cry, do so-get it out of your system. But keep your personal emotional response to yourself. Making your boss feel any worse or more guilty than he or she may already feel isn't going to help your cause one iota. If anything, it's going to make your boss more resentful, more certain you deserved what you got.
Ridiculous though it may seem, the first thing you should be thinking about when you get the bad news is the emotional state of the person giving that news. Forget about yourself for the moment. The situation is almost as painful for the other person as it is for you.
Thank-yes, thank-the person for showing you the consideration of telling you face to face. Thank him or her for the nice things said about you. You might even express some sympathy. Let the other person know that you know how difficult it must be to tell somebody they're fired.
Next, see if you can determine if the situation is totally lost. Don't come right out and ask just how "final" the decision is. That's inviting a final answer, and gets the person off the hook. Make a counter offer. Suggest additional time-a "trial" period of maybe a month.
Watch for the reaction. If the person hedges, mount a counter attack (and if you've anticipated this moment, you should know what to say). Skip the personal sympathy-how badly you need the money now, etc.-and stay with the things that concern your boss, you, and the job. Was your boss aware, for instance, that you've started a particular project a couple of days ago or else cleared up a messy situation that's been hanging on for weeks?
Stick to the concrete. Avoid statements that directly contradict what your boss has said. Even if you consider the criticism unwarranted, grant your boss the possibility that it is warranted, but see if you can give some information that may cast you in a different light. Accept blame. If your reports have been coming in consistently late, don't blame your secretary or people in other departments. Acknowledge the problem and state what you intend to do-or better, have already done-to rectify it. "You're right," you might say. "My reports have been late, and I had a meeting two days ago with some of the sales guys so that we can coordinate things better."
Do not, under any circumstances, question the judgment of your boss. Assume that the decision he or she has made has been made with great difficulty, and respect that. The issue isn't whether or not your boss is justified in firing you-that determination has already been made. The question is whether information your boss may not be aware of could induce him or her to reevaluate that decision. At this stage that's all you is looking for, really. A revaluation is not necessarily a reversal. Play for a draw: additional time. You could use the time either to reclaim your job or to get started on your job search.
Accepting the Inevitable
You should be able to tell by how responsive your boss is to your arguments whether you're getting anywhere or wasting your breath. If the decision seems irrevocable, stop fighting for your job and start negotiating for the most favorable separation conditions possible. Be hard-nosed with yourself. There comes a point in these discussions when the more you resist, the harder it will be for you to negotiate for severance concessions from the company.
Your company has a policy for dismissed employees. Know what it is before you get fired. Your boss has some flexibility, but can only deviate so far from company policy. You're not going to get the moon unless it's in your contract, so don't bother to ask for it. Make requests, not demands. You'll get more.
You'll probably discuss severance arrangements with the per-son who fires you, which is good and bad. The good part is that many executives, to ease the guilt that comes with firing some-body, are unduly generous when it comes to severance benefits. The bad part is that your negotiating power is limited somewhat by your need to get a favorable reference from your boss.
Money, of course, is not the only issue in severance negotiations. You'll want the maximum amount the company is willing to pay, but don't overlook other benefits that may be just as important. See if you can have an office and secretarial services throughout the course of your campaign. If you've had access to a company car as part of your position, see if you can maintain the use of the car for several more weeks. Your company may have an outplacement service-more and more companies are setting them up. Take advantage of it, or ask for the money the company would spend on outplacement in the form of severance. Don't allow wounded pride to deny you anything your company is willing to give in order to help you find a new job.
A final piece of advice about being fired. After the smoke has cleared, either write your boss or arrange for a meeting whose purpose is to find out where you went wrong. (A letter may be better since your boss may be reluctant to level with you in a direct meeting.) Stress the fact that you want honest answers, no matter how critical those answers are. And when you get this information, learn from it. If you can learn some-thing about yourself from being fired-something that may help you become successful in your next jot)-then the experience will have had some benefit for you.
Don't waste this opportunity for growth. Otherwise, you may find yourself in the same position three or four months after you start your next job.
