When, oh when, will we learn to honor error? To understand that goofs are the only way to step forward, that really big goofs are the only way to leap forward? -Tom Peters, The Pursuit of Wow!
As an adult, you may discover that your work life is putting a new spin on some age-old fears. When Chicago writer Judy Markey informally polled a diverse group of professionals about their current career nightmares, she discovered that many competent people share an anxious underside.
Take, for example, the teacher who dreams she's walked into a classroom of unruly students and doesn't have a single skill to calm her wild charges down. Or the builder who dreams he's grabbed the wrong set of blueprints and built the wrong shelving and cabinets in someone's home. Then there's the accountant whose nightmare revolves around omitting some numbers on a tax form, getting discovered by the IRS and losing most of his clients. And how about the pastor who, in his nighttime angst, walks up to the pulpit in a church packed with worshippers only to discover that he has nothing to say? No sermon. No words of inspiration. No tidbits of wisdom. Nothing.
This last nightmare is similar to another archetypal fear-of-exposure dream: the one where you're standing naked and exposed before an audience you want desperately to impress. This is probably why a pianist sometimes dreamed she was sitting on stage before a concert stark naked. Or why, on the night before he was expected to deliver an important paper, a doctor dreamed he was at the lectern with no clothes on and his mouth glued shut.
These nighttime dramas reveal, in all their angst-ridden glory, the imperfections that most of us take elaborate precautions to hide. While the rest of the world imagines you're firmly in control of your destiny, your dreams remind you how fallible you really are.
Fortunately, these nightmares seldom prove real. Despite the castle of catastrophe you may insist on building in your head, no awful mistake is waiting to rear its ugly head and ambush your career ambitions when you least expect it. Granted, horror stories do happen. But most mistakes are recoverable. However embarrassing, life goes on and so will you.
Look at Richard Nixon. He was driven from the Oval Office in total disgrace. Yet at the time of his death, he'd recovered a piece of his status as an elder statesman. He was eulogized as if Watergate was little more than a blemish on his history. Obviously, given enough time, energy and attention, even the most serious blights on a reputation can be repaired.
Besides, most professional mistakes are much more benign.
Former television newscaster Mary Nissenson Scheer, who worked for NBC News in New York, remembers sharing a particularly embarrassing moment with millions of television viewers.
She was pinch-hitting for one of the regular news anchors, who was out sick for the day. It was her first time on national television and her first experience with a teleprompter.
While a Freudian interpretation is tempting, nervousness and inexperience are probably what account for Nissenson Scheer's gaffe. At least let's hope that's what caused her to refer to Jimmy Carter's "peanut farm" as a "penis farm," instead.
She can laugh about the incident now, but it wasn't exactly the national television debut she was hoping for. Still, it didn't turn out to be a career-stopper. Surviving the relentless ribbing that trailed her for months was probably the more difficult task. On the bright side, an incident like that can teach you to develop a sense of humor about yourself pronto!
In our achievement-obsessed society, success and failure are often viewed as opposites. Actually, though, they're part of a continuum. Risk is implied in striving. Every time you make the effort to succeed, you run the risk of failing.
Review the life story of any highly accomplished individual and you'll almost always find a history of failures and recoveries. Usually, the person is someone who was determined to succeed against the odds.
Abraham Lincoln is an apt example of this determination. "Honest Abe's" public report card reads like the record of an "F" student. Born into poverty, he failed in business twice, lost eight elections and suffered a nervous breakdown before becoming one of this country's most successful presidents.
Why did he persist?
"A duty to strive is the duty of us all," Lincoln said. "I felt a call to that duty."
Having a greater goal helps when coping with failures, too, by allowing you to place individual setbacks into a larger context. When you believe that your goals are truly worth pursuing, you'll have the desire and momentum to keep going, rather than cave in, in the face of obstacles.
Failure can be a genuine springboard to success if you allow yourself to learn the lessons it has to teach. You can begin that process by understanding some of the more common reasons failures occur and by learning from the experience of others who have used their defeats to grow and succeed.
Psychologist Daniel Kirschenbaum remembers well the day he got turned down for tenure at the University of Wisconsin in Madison. It felt as if someone was telling him he wasn't good enough to belong to their club. Kirschenbaum had already established himself as a well-known authority in his field and had more than 50 publication credits to his name. Given his undisputed record of achievement, the rejection was dramatic. It was also the culmination of a history of conflict between the liberal professor and one of his older, more conservative colleagues.
"He didn't like me from the beginning," says Kirschenbaum. "I was too 'out there.' My hair was too long. I was too collegial with students. And I expressed my opinions too openly. He came from the old school where students were treated more like children and younger faculty should be seen and not heard. It really galled him that I was so successful."
Prior to the tenure vote, the two professors had locked horns many times and disagreed openly on countless occasions. So it wasn't really surprising that when Judgment Day rolled around, the senior faculty member marshaled his forces and defeated Kirschenbaum's bid for tenure.
Even though he understood the behind-the-scenes maneuvering that ended his career at the University of Wisconsin, Kirschenbaum says "the public embarrassment was hard to swallow."
It's never fun to get rejected. Nobody enjoys the role of jilted lover or abandoned child. But in the working world, it happens all the time. The key is to find a place that better suits your needs and appreciates your talents.
But don't marry on the rebound. Take some time to figure out what's really right for you professionally.
Kirschenbaum found that match the following year at Northwestern University Medical School. In the process, he not only proved that there's "life after Madison," but he managed to double his salary as well.
He likes to refer to himself as "Mr. Persistence," and, in fact, his self-confidence and determination are his real forte.
"No individual or event can end my career," says Kirschenbaum. "I'm never going to let that happen."
Knowing that you can and will recover from career setbacks provides an inner security and peace of mind that will keep you connected to your own goals and in charge of your own career destiny.
