Make a Life While Making a Living

If your job doesn't allow much calendar and clock freedom, you may find yourself fighting for every moment of free time you get. It helps if you can clarify your needs (and your employer's expectations) soon after you're hired. Then, once you've agreed on a schedule, you won't have to justify your actions every time you leave at 5 P.M. or don't come in on the weekends.

Even if you can't get much schedule flexibility, you can still set realistic limits to your workday. As Emerson said: "If you can't be free, be as free as you can."

FBI Director Louis Freeh had the good sense to negotiate some free time into the terms of his employment agreement.



Freeh at first declined the $133,600-a-year job, citing disruption to his family life as his primary concern. When his wife prevailed on him to reconsider, he said he'd take the job under one condition: He promised to work diligently for the FBI, but he also planned to reserve quality time for his wife and two sons.

The White House agreed and the appointment moved forward. But it's unlikely that Bill Clinton anticipated just how seriously his FBI director took his commitment to his family. Late one Friday, Freeh was notified quite suddenly that he was expected at a Saturday morning White House meeting. Sorry, he replied. Unless it was a national emergency, his Saturday morning was already booked. He'd promised his sons that he'd attend their basketball game, and he intended to keep his word.

Of course, you aren't Louie Freeh. But you can learn an important lesson from his modus operandi:

1. Be very clear about your needs and priorities.
2. Be very, very good at what you do.
3. Make sure your employer knows just how good you are.
4. Insist that your employer meets your needs.

Most people don't change their lives all at once. It's an incremental process that takes constant self-evaluation, careful goal-setting and self-directed action. You must persist in the face of obstacles and criticism.

But it's not an impossible dream. And it can be well worth the effort.

A new breed of career trendsetters are making life in the slow lane look mighty good. In Downshifting (New York: Harper/ Perennial), business journalist Amy Saltzman identifies five different models you can use to get more control over your work and life:

1. Backtrackers arrange for their own demotions so they can have more time and less stress.
2. Plateauers intentionally stay in place. They turn down pro-motions because they don't want the increased pressures of more responsibility.
3. Career-shifters transfer their skills to less stressful fields.
4. Self-employers go solo to have more control over their work hours and location.
5. Urban escapees opt for more hospitable, relaxing environments in the country, small towns or the great outdoors.

Reasons People Want Time Off From Work

1. They aren't challenged.
2. They can't move upward.
3. They need a breather from the routine.
4. They want to try living in the country.
5. They hate their bosses.
6. They want to call the shots.
7. They want to switch jobs.
8. They want to travel.
9. They want to start their own business.
10. They're tired of working 70-hour weeks.

Making a Life While Making a Living Thought-Starter Worksheet

1. Do you wish that you had more time for yourself?
2. Where do the greatest demands on your time come from?
3. Can you enlist more support to help you meet your responsibilities?
4. How good are you at setting limits?
5. What happens when you say "no"?
6. How good are you at asserting your own needs?
7. How can you improve your negotiating skills?
8. Do you wish that you could work fewer hours?
9. Have you ever considered working part time?
10. How do you think your employer would feel about part-time hours?
11. Do you worry that people will think you're not serious about your career?
12. Is there any precedent in your company for job-sharing?
13. Is there anyone you'd like to share a job with?
14. Can you think of any benefit to your employer of a job-share arrangement?
15. Would you like to work more from home?
16. Do you have the kind of job responsibilities that lend them-selves to home-based work arrangements?
17. Do you think your employer would object to your working from home part time? If so, why?
18. Can you experiment with alternate work schedules to deter-mine how feasible they really are?
19. Do you ever fantasize about a whole new lifestyle? If so, what does your dream life look like?
20. Have you ever lived in a small town? What do you think it would be like?
21. Do you know any urban refugees who moved from the city to the country? If so, what has their experience been?
22. Can you see any negatives to rural or small-town living?
23. Have you ever considered a sabbatical or an extended leave of absence?
24. How do you think your employer would react to such a request?
25. How would you spend a year off?
26. What do you think would happen if you took a year off?
27. Would that scenario be so terrible?