Eye contact and facial expressions
Most of us would agree that being looked at is pleasant. Much depends on how we are looked at, but if the look is accompanied by a smile, we feel better for it. It is nice to know that other people recognize our existence.
We have an enormous repertoire of facial and head gestures. To understand other people's thoughts and feelings, therefore, it is not enough merely to listen to what they say, we also have to be able to read their expressions.
We look at people's faces more than any other part of the body, and we tend to look more often when we listen than when we talk. In interviewing it is essential that eye contact with your interviewees is maintained both when you ask questions and while listening to their answers.
Provided that it is a friendly and expectant look, interviewees experience your looking at them as a reward that they are doing well. If, however, it is accompanied by a scowl or frown, they will know that you disapprove of, or disagree with, what they are saying, and they will either shut up, start to mumble or lose track of what they are saying.
Interviewees do not always look at interviewers when they reply to their questions, though when training interviewees are always recommended that they should, because not looking can make them appear as though they have something to hide. As an interviewer, however, you should be careful not to judge them too quickly, because if they are shy they may find eye contact difficult even for short periods. This does not mean that they are dishonest or insincere. It means, though, that they might not be suitable for a job where they will have to face public scrutiny.
Interviewees will also avert their eyes if interviewers stare fixedly at them. Staring is intimidating.
Sometimes interviewers cease to concentrate on what the interviewee is saying and without realizing it they replace an intelligent, responsive look with a blank stare. Interviewees recognize this and react to it by turning away. Unfortunately, they also turn their attention off and the quality of communication is adversely affected.
Confident interviewees will look you straight in the eye and continue to do this for longer periods than diffident interviewees; they will also blink less. But, again, it is dangerous to make too much of this when evaluating them, because, as Shakespeare put it, 'That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.'
Our facial expressions say much about us, and observant interviewees can gauge how well or badly they are doing by how we look. We should cultivate an interested but non committal expression, making sure that we do not express surprise, shock, disgust, anger or any other negative emotions when we hear things we might not like.
To be avoided therefore are the following:
- raising eyebrows
- narrowing eyes
- pursing lips
- grimacing
- frowning
The one expression that we all like to think we can recognize and interpret when we see it is the smile; but in fact there are a number of different kinds of smiles, and not all of them send out positive messages. I have, for example, recommended that when you greet your interviewees, you should accompany your handshake with a smile. However, if that smile continues to sit on your face once the interview has started, it indicates you are not taking them or their replies seriously.
Your smile should always be appropriate to what the interviewees are saying. Smiling when they are telling you something serious and remaining poker-faced when they have made an amusing remark means that either you are not listening or you have misunderstood what they are saying. Either way, your reactions will confuse them.
Some people smile more naturally than others. If you are an easy smiler, do not overdo it because you may look insincere. If your natural expression is grave, try a little harder but not too hard, because it will also appear false.
Smiles, too, can hide hostility, and if your voice is raised and your body taut, the interviewee will not be fooled by your smile.
To sum up your use of eye contact and facial expressions, here is a checklist:
- Look at your interviewees when asking questions and during their replies.
- Look at them in a friendly but non-committal way.
- Do not let your expression reveal negative feelings of dislike or disapproval of them or what they have told you.
- Do not condemn interviewees if they do not look at you when replying, because it may mean that they are lacking in confidence, not that they are hiding something.
- Do not stare at interviewees. It is intimidating.
- Smiling eases communication, but do not overdo it, and smile only when appropriate.
This is the term psychologists give to the way we communicate with each other through our posture and our physical movements. Using a complex vocabulary of gestures we express our thoughts and feelings, and at the same time as we 'read' other people's gestures, they 'read' ours.
An awareness and understanding of body language aids interviewers in two ways. First, if you are aware of what you are doing, you can control the signals you are giving to the interviewees and ensure that they are conveying the right message; and second, you can observe and understand what the interviewees are telling you through their gestures.
A note of warning: individual gestures on their own mean very little and in combination they can be contradictory. Only when they are part of a consistent cluster do they carry any significant meaning.
