Unfortunately, three times out of four, you'll fail to do your best selling job, to convince the person with whom you're speaking, because you aren't communicating in a manner familiar to them. You'll fail to apply the communication golden rule: "Thou shalt communicate with others in the manner through which they best understand." To apply this rule, you must determine their communication style, then deliver your communication to match the style that they understand best.
People communicate in a vast array of styles. You may not be fully cognizant of these differences because your department or industry was peopled with clones who communicated in much the same way as you. As a boss, that was your prerogative. You may have preconceptions and prejudices about people who communicate differently. You may distrust people who are glib and facile. You may have had a long-term feud with salespeople or marketing people whom you felt were careless of facts or didn't pay enough attention to details. Or conversely, you may dislike people whom you feel are too concerned with detail and have difficulty communicating the big picture.
No one is going to try to revamp your own personal communication style. That's impossible anyway, since your basic style was probably set before you started school, as was the style of everyone with whom you will come in contact.
To avoid miscommunication, however, you must first understand how you communicate and the way in which your communication style reflects your personality. Next, learn about other styles and how to spot them. Then you will be able to identify potential employers' communication styles so that you can estimate the best way to approach them. Discover better ways to use your communication strengths and to modify those behaviors that can lead to problems with people communicating through other styles. Learn how to sell yourself in ways that are acceptable to others and yet compatible with your feelings about yourself.
In a nutshell: Don't try to make yourself over. You can't. You have no choice but to retain your own basic communication style. But you can learn how to modify your presentation to match the preferred style of others.
HIGH D
Behaviors: High D people are self-starters who get going when things get tough. They thrive on challenge, conflict and competition. They are direct, positive and straightforward. They say what they think, and can be very blunt and to the point. They can cope with chaos, they are "change agents."
They like to be center stage-they are take-charge people. They fight hard for their beliefs and ideas, but can accept defeat and don't hold grudges. After a battle, they don't understand why others are still angry or holding a grudge.
They prefer variety, the unusual, the adventurous. They will lose interest if their jobs become routine, so must constantly be involved. They are prone to make job changes, especially early in their careers. When they find the challenge they need, they'll stay.
They are individualistic and self-sufficient. They demand a lot of themselves and of others. They may be discontented and dissatisfied with the status quo.
How they appear: They will probably be running late. They may be-or may appear to be-rude. They may interrupt you, take phone calls, read letters, call to their secretaries or otherwise interrupt you as you are talking. ("Go ahead, I'm listening.") Their offices may appear disorganized, with stacks of papers sitting around.
Impulsiveness and impatience are the keys to recognizing High D behaviors. Dress may or may not be a clue. If their secondary behaviors are active in a favorable environment (High I), they will be well dressed. But if they are low in I characteristics, they probably don't care much about their external appearance, so may be sloppy, or at least unstylish. Messy offices, careless dress and sloppy grooming are a dead giveaway to a High D.
How to communicate with people showing High D characteristics: They want you to be brief, so get to the point quickly. Stress what you can do for them or for their company. They want you to be sure of yourself, so be firm, don't pussyfoot around. Level with them. Emphasize the bottom line. They'll act on impulse, so hit them quickly and hard-but not argumentatively. In short, communicate with them in the same manner which they project.
Many top executives exhibit High D tendencies. That's what got them ahead. Your interviews with them will be short, to the point. They'll leave the details for someone else to fill in.
HIGH I
Behaviors: High I people are outgoing, persuasive and gregarious. They strive to persuade others and make their opinions and beliefs prevail. High I people are very comfortable in "one-on-one" situations. Their outgoing nature and the image they project is that of the so-called "natural salesperson."
High I people are basically interested in other people. They are poised and meet strangers easily-and people respond easily to them. They inherently trust and accept people. They are incurably optimistic. For that reason, they may misjudge people's abilities and intentions, with occasional disastrous results.
They are easy conversationalists, doing everything they can to put others at ease. They sell themselves well. In business, they are friendly competitors and they're optimistic, though not too well-organized as managers.
High I people normally dress very fashionably. They join organizations for prestige and for personal recognition. They usually have a broad range of acquaintances and tend to "name-drop".
How they appear: Their ego is apt to be all over their offices. The walls will be covered with pictures of them getting awards, plaques with their names on them, certificates, trophies and so on. You will know exactly who occupies that office. They will be friendly, outgoing and enthusiastic. And, of course, their dress is a good clue. Above all, the key to recognizing High I people is their ego. You will even hear this because they talk constantly, and use that word "I"- "/ did this, I did that." They will tell you how wonderful they are, how wonderful their company is and so forth.
How to communicate with people with High I characteristics: They like the special, the novel-if it's new, it's exciting. Since they like to talk about themselves, let them tell you about what they've been doing. Don't attempt to dominate the conversation. (You couldn't anyway-they'd interrupt you. You don't want to try for one-upmanship, in any event.) They want to be the first to do something, and above all, they want recognition. Emphasize the ways in which you can help them get what they want, the recognition they want (and need). Compliment them (sincerely) on their office, their organization, whatever. Use a broad brush in telling them about your accomplishments and omit the details. Details are boring to a High I.
Many High I executives have made it to, or near to, the top, especially in sales and marketing, public relations, advertising and people-intensive businesses.
