When we are adults, this negative self-image is often reinforced in the world of work. A typical example is of the boss who points out any mistakes you make but never praises your successes. What is the usual result of this negative reinforcement? We magnify our bad points totally out of proportion and minimize our strengths. This holds true for all aspects of our lives, particularly in the workplace.
Do You Work "Out of Title"?
We all tend to limit the reporting of our work lives, both on the job or off. When someone you meet socially asks you what you do, you may say, "I'm in personnel," even if you are the director of human resources for a major company. Or, "I'm a secretary," when in truth you are the mainstay of your department and do many things other than typing your manager's memos and answering the telephone. We minimize and downplay our achievements, partly to appear humble (we were all trained that it's not nice to boast) and partly because we don't feel we deserve to have what we do.
Have you ever read a resume that was so boring (because the writer downplayed his/her accomplishments) you had to reread it three times to remember what was said? Unfortunately, most resumes, cover letters, and general correspondence are written this way. Most people will take credit for only those tasks that are covered by the titles and descriptions forced upon them by their companies or organizations, even if their day-to-day work has little or no relation to their company job descriptions. Many of us "work out of title" but fail to take credit for these experiences when we review our work and put it on paper.
And we often let others take credit for things that are rightfully ours. Example: Barbara Wilkinson worked for one of the major banks in Chicago as an administrative assistant in the International Finance Division and reported directly to the Vice President in charge of the division. She had a B. A. and M.A. in modern languages, was working on an M.B.A. in marketing at night, had lived in France for two years, and spoke French, Spanish, and German fluently. Needless to say, her boss (the vice president) utilized her background and skills in many areas other than clerical. However, when Barbara attempted to transfer into the bank's training program to become a lending officer, she found herself blocked. Her job description, as written by her boss and by Personnel, showed her as having a position only two steps above a non-degreed secretary. And, as Barbara never mentioned her work projects at all in the interview for the position in the training program, she was not selected.
Opposite is Barbara's resume before she took credit for work performed.
In counseling Barbara we discovered some interesting things. She'd actually worked on some very important projects for the division but hadn't taken credit for them. Why not? The answers are typical: (1) her boss, the V.P. of the International Finance Division, had always signed his name to her reports (a very common occurrence), so Barbara figured no one would believe she'd written them, and (2) the reports had been typed by different typing pool secretaries and she didn't have copies (only her boss did), (3) Barbara's job description, as furnished by the bank for level, title, etc never mentioned project research or report writing. As you can see, many parts of our jobs that are highly successful and important are never recorded. We take them for granted. After all, if we do them, how important can they really be?
After several sessions with us we assigned Barbara some homework: to describe to us in action-oriented language her research, data-collection, and report-writing projects. We then had her take the paragraphs she'd written, helped her tighten them up, and after several tries she came up with an action letter that said it all! We'll discuss in later the very specific way an action letter is designed, but meanwhile, in reading Barbara's original resume and then reading her action letter you can see that she was, indeed, better than she thought she was.
Taking Credit
Another area where we find you may minimize yourself is in taking credit for work completed when you did not do every bit of it. Example: you are a member of a four-person team assigned to an important project that has to be completed in three and a half months. All of you on this team have specific areas of expertise and you must gather the information necessary to put the report together in a comprehensive way. Your part, Part A, has to mesh comfortably with the other three parts. Even though you didn't work directly on the other three areas, chances are you know what they're all about. If Part B, C, or D had been assigned to you instead of Part A, you could just as easily have done your report on B, C, or D. If you really understand B, C, and D, even though you didn't do B, C, or D, take all or partial credit for the project if a future employer asks if you have knowledge of B, C, or D. If you can replicate B, C, and D, takes credit for them. If you cannot replicate B, C, or D, DO NOT take credit-you will be found out.
This is stated by Dr. Adele M. Scheele in Skills for Success: "If we feel that we must be totally prepared before we enter an experience, we will be forever trapped by the dangerous model of the 'good student.'"
"Other" Kinds of Work
The validity of "other" kinds of work, not just your on-the-job experiences, needs to be considered. People rarely realize, let alone take credit for the facts that all work, paid or not, is valuable and often teach skills and develops behavior as important as what is learned while working from 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. Those with military experience have learned skills and know how to work as team members and as managers if they have been officers. If you were Volunteer work, often stated as "only volunteer work," can be highly demanding and can be the source of much learning, including the development of management and leadership skills. So don't shy away from using that kind of experience in evaluating and discussing your talents. When you are working and being paid to do a job, a subordinate who promises to do something for you and doesn't come through can be fired. If, however, a volunteer promises something and reneges, you're stuck. You cannot fire someone who doesn't work for you. You may have to re-motivate this person, put someone else on the project and hope they will come through for you, or do it yourself.
The same is true of homemaking. So much emphasis lately has been put on women working outside the home that many women who enjoy and/or can afford to be homemakers are embarrassed to say they don't have a $35,000-a-year job in addition to running a house and caring for three kids, a husband, two dogs, three cats, six gerbils, and a king snake. However, the level of organization required to perform successfully all aspects of homemaking is staggering. (The newest term, by the way, is not homemaker, but domestic engineer.) Homemaking, or domestic engineering, if you will, has been put down too long. And who's to say this should only be a woman's domain? Men should be able to stay home if they desire and their wives should work if that's what they want to do. Choice is the key word. But again, whether you're a male or female domestic engineer, the work, the organization of that work, and its results is what you should look at and be able to discuss.
If the job is described accurately, you are the chief purchasing agent, budget manager, investor of excess funds, resident doctor, nurse and therapist, cook, chauffeur, carpenter, painter, etc. The validity of your work is incredible although our society rewards only paid work. But recognize this fact and get around it. A properly understood and evaluated experience will be very positive if you express it correctly in an interview.
Tooting Your Own Horn
The Bible notwithstanding, the meek so far have not inherited the earth. It's necessary to understand the importance of promoting yourself because, with few exceptions, no one will do it for you. To go back to Barbara Wilkinson, even though her boss signed his name to all her research reports, she should have kept copies of "before" and "after" and had other colleagues read them. She should have talked about them within her department, she should have become friendly with people in the International Lending area where she wanted to be and shown them her work and she should have had the reports with her at outside interviews in case they were needed. But, and this is a very important "but"-she (and this applies to you, too) must first recognize the work she does as being important and to articulate its importance to others, particularly people in positions above her.
Powerful Thought
Perception of your abilities is the key. You may be the best engineer/secretary/actuary/social worker in the country, but if you don't tell anyone what you've done, no one's going to know (except your boss, and he or she certainly won't tell anybody-he or she might lose you).
The extent of one's power is largely determined by perception. "If you think you have it, then you have it. If you think you don't have it (even if you do) then you don't have it," says Herbert A. Cohen, author of You Can Negotiate Anything.
Please don't run around flapping your gums at anyone who'll listen about how terrific you are. That quickly grows tedious. But you must judiciously spread the gospel of your worth. As stated, perception of your abilities is the key. You may be not much above average, but if you market your skills properly, you'll do a lot better than someone who may be better skilled than you, but who never says a word about himself. Actual ability doesn't count as much as perceived ability, and most people, whether they work in corporations at high levels or in the world's governments, are average in abilities. But they've convinced others that they're better than they think they are. If they can, you can too.
Don't feel that you are a failure or an underachiever if you have not yet found your life's work. Even if you are a college graduate you may not be happier on your job than other people. A late 1970s study by the College Placement Council shows that some of the widely held assumptions about college education and job satisfaction have been brought into question. The study concluded that finding a job related to one's college major is not essential for job satisfaction, and that most graduates who consider their jobs to be nonprofessional can be happy in their work. Many college students who prepare early for a specific career are not more satisfied with their work than those who choose later. "Attempting to create a perfect fit between college education and careers is a wasted effort because a perfect fit doesn't matter to the consumer of education-the students," the study reported.
So, if you're not certain what it is you want to do, where you want to do it, or how much you should get paid for doing it, you're in good company! It should help ease your mind somewhat as well as tell you how you might examine fields other than those you are presently considering.
