Flight attendants tell pilot jokes, and pilots tell flight attendant jokes.
Best Pilot Joke: Why did the pilot prefer denim condoms? (SHRINK TO FIT) -this was always good for a free beer in the galley!
Best Flight Attendant Joke --- this one works for any "service person" What's the difference between a stewardess and a toilet?
(On a nightmare flight from London to Miami, four hours in, the pilot turned back to Heathrow. I rang the flight attendant, who said "Someone in back (I was in business) had a miscarriage.I simply asked if it was a woman, and she laughed. We returned to Heathrow, deplaned, and everyone got really drunk (they ran out of booze in the lounge.) We reboarded the plane, and promptly drank everything on the plane. Most people fell asleep, but I had other problems (a woman behind me put her toes under my arm, as she rested her foot on my arm rest, but she was too drunk to even know or care.) So I went to the galley to entertain a Stew (sorry, I still call them Stewardesses). She was busy doing something important like washing out a coffee urn as I asked if she likes jokes. She said sure, and I asked: What's the difference between a stewardess and a toilet?
She turned white, then red, and in a stern voice said "I hate that joke, and am offended that you'd tell me that on this horrible flight."
I was mightily confused, and a drunk who stumbled up behind her said (voice slurred) "I like jokes, what's the punch line."
So I told him - "Toilets can only handle one asshole at a time."
He laughed and she did too, and then admitted she thought I was telling that joke with a different punch line.
I said, would I tell you a bad joke on a flight like this? And then I asked what the alternative punch line was.
The difference between a toilet and a flight attendant is that the toilet won't follow you after you use it.
I totally understood her initial reaction! And, on my departing, she gave me a bottle of wine!!!
(The woman behind me woke up near the end of the flight to Miami, and went to the bathroom. She then passed out, so they had to remove the door to retrieve her before landing, true story
