Many people become worried about the prospect of having to conduct a negotiation. It seems from the outside to be a process shrouded in mystery, performed by the expert. In fact, it is no such thing, as most people are involved in negotiating on a daily basis, and have been ever since they swapped conkers or lollipops,' says Jane Hodgson, author of Thinking on Your Feet in Negotiations. 'Looking at it as a problem solving rather than point winning exercise, preparing thoroughly and imaginatively, and using some simple skills and strategies can help to ensure that agreements are made which are not only satisfactory to both parties immediately, but stand the test of time. Settlements which are reached quickly, with a superficial compromise agreed, have a huge potential for breaking down because of misunderstandings, cosmetic consensus, or a failure to explore the issues thoroughly enough.'
Starting a business, you may well find yourself negotiating with the bank manager, suppliers, customers, employees and even your family. Skilled negotiators have a number of characteristics:
- Seeking information - Skilled negotiators ask for more than twice as much information as average negotiators, asking questions to obtain essential information with which to bargain, and as a way of controlling the discussion, avoiding disagreements or reducing the other party's thinking time.
- Testing, understanding and summarizing - They check a statement or proposal is understood, and then summarize it. This clarifies things and reduces the potential for misunderstandings. In contrast, less effective negotiators are keen to reach agreement and tend to leave ambiguous points to be cleared up later. Unfortunately, this often means that they are never cleared up at all and, when it comes to implementation, more negotiation is required.
- Using language - Skilled negotiators are adept at giving advance warning about what's coming next. They make suggestions rather than direct, confrontational, questions.
" Allowing feelings to show - Skilled negotiators allow their feelings to show. This appears remarkably candid, but they are less likely to divulge cut and dried figures. They are human, but careful with it.
Negotiating is a fine art. There are a number of common mistakes:
- Blowing your own trumpet - Phrases such as 'reasonable offer', 'generous terms', 'fair', 'honest', 'impartial', etc. can cause trouble. If you describe your offer as 'reasonable' you are suggesting that any rational individual would recognize it as such. Praising your own behavior (and insinuating the other side is ignorant or less reasonable) is unlikely to be productive. Any industrial dispute featured on the TV news usually includes such self-congratulation.
- Being overly aggressive - Negotiations are often approached as wars, but being overly aggressive and continually being on the offensive is self-defeating. Poor negotiators are continually attacking. Each new proposal is greeted with a counter-proposal. This simply puts the other side on the defensive, then they too are likely to attack back. The result is a pointless escalation. In contrast, effective negotiators are adept at attacking at the right time and of defusing situations when they appear ready to escalate.
- Too many arguments - A simple message backed with a small number of logical supporting points is more persuasive than a large number of arguments. If you are negotiating keep to the three or four core points. If you bring in peripheral arguments you may well find they are your weakest and can be exploited.
- Look to the future - Negotiators need to look to the future. It is little use stitching together a desperate eleventh hour compromise if, two weeks later, you have to start again. Agreements need to focus on long-term relationships and implementation.
