After all, what is success? Many of us are programmed to believe that success is defined simply by the amount of money we make compared to our peers, by the size and value of a house or car, or by our stratum in society. Indeed, it's natural to want to keep up with the Joneses and there's certainly nothing wrong with living comfortably. But too many people get caught up in a rat-race job they can't stand in order to fulfill someone else's vision of success.
I prefer to define success as personal growth, or the continuation of personal growth. It is the attainment of legitimate internal desires, hopes and aspirations, and the fulfillment of values. Money may be a means to this end, but rarely is it an end in itself. There are and have been people to whom money seemed to be the sole end, but money can also be a ball and chain that enslaves people. As just one example, look at the plethora of desperately unhappy celebrities who wind up in alcohol treatment centers or who take their own lives. Successes? I think not.
In general, successful people are those who are fully in charge of their careers, regardless of how much money they make. They are exceedingly sensitive to career values and are usually independent thinkers who are very objective about themselves. And since they love their work, they tend to be very good at it. So the money follows. Even if it doesn't, I find that successful people don't care. They have, pardon the cliché, what money can't buy: Happiness, contentment, and personal pride.
Back in the early 1970s, I worked with a top-echelon oil company executive who was, by the classic American definition, a success. He made over $200,000 a year (today's equivalent) and lived with his beautiful wife in a big house. But he was ashamed of his company, his marriage was crumbling, and he was desperately unhappy. When he first came to me, it was with the assumption that he needed to place himself in a similar position with another major company. He couldn't have been more wrong.
After some serious soul-searching, he realized that he would never be happy doing what he was doing. He further realized that he had many internal talents and needs that his oil company job did not, and never would, fulfill. When I last heard from him, he was a filly tenured college professor, and he and his wife were happier than they'd ever been. It's the most complete success story I know of.
So I ask again, are you a success? Ask yourself a few questions:
How do you feel when you go to work in the morning and come home at night? Do you wish you didn't have to go to work when you get up? Do you go through a "personality change" at home in the evening? This is common in people who are unhappy with their work.
Is your physical health as good as it's always been? I don't want to render medical opinions, but people who are dealing with bad stress on the job are more susceptible to physical ailments. (Note that there is such a thing as good stress. It's what makes a job challenging and pushes us on to better things.) Again, I don't mean to pass judgment, but is the CEO who's making $500,000 a year and suffering from ulcers and heart problems a success?
How do you feel about your co-workers? Is there an easy camaraderie? Is there mutual respect? Successful people give that respect easily and get it without demanding it.
How do you feel about telling others what you do for a living? Successful people are proud of what they do.
Do molehills appear to be mountains? This is common among people who don't like what they're doing. For successful people, mountains appear to be molehills.
Success is elusive. It rarely comes without hard work and dedication to one's dreams. And the best advice I can give you is that which has been handed down through the centuries: Be true to yourself. The truth may hurt, but the truth will set you free.
Socrates said, "Know thyself" He might have gone on to say that knowing thyself is a lifetime quest. The only way to begin is to acknowledge that there are many ways in which we don't know ourselves, and then make a conscious effort to change that.
Any reasonably talented person who is willing to make this commitment - who has the self-honesty and determination to capitalize on strengths and overcome weaknesses - is capable of rising far beyond his or her current situation.
