There is no question that there are forces in our society working against women from the time they're born until the day they die. But ultimately, all of us are responsible for the success (or lack thereof) we achieve in our own careers. We cannot lean on societal forces as an excuse for failure, because then those forces indeed become a barrier.
People - not just women - are discriminated against on a regular basis. Regardless of what the law says, people are discriminated against because of age, race, gender, education and experience. When people move to a new part of the country, they are not always quickly accepted. Successful people, however, rise above such discrimination.
The American workplace is changing, and women's roles in it are largely responsible for many of the changes. When I first started in career consulting in 1972, very few of my clients were women. It wasn't until the mid '70s that I started working with a significant number of women clients, and even then, most were homemakers looking to reenter the job market. Those who weren't homemakers were secretaries who realized they had greater talents and nurses or teachers, who wanted to move into another field.
Although we've made great strides, our society still perceives women in many traditional roles. And at the same time, an opposite kind of pressure on women has also emerged - one based on rejecting traditional gender-based values learned early in life. As a result, there is a conflict and an unconscious kind of confusion which makes personal life and career decisions extremely difficult for many women. (I find, however, that an increasing number of younger women have grown up with and are comfortable with the idea that they can do anything they choose.)
The solution, of course, is for each individual to freely and independently establish her own set of values and her career pattern within that framework. Everybody must learn to make career decisions irrespective of pressures. Granted, this may be especially difficult given pressures facing women, but it is by no means impossible.
First, women must deal openly and honestly with their self-image if they are to have true freedom of choice. As young girls, many women were taught to be dainty and reserved, and this sort of self-image has been carried into womanhood. However, a certain toughness is needed to succeed in the business world, whether or not it is dominated by men. That kind of toughness is as common among women as it is among men, but it has often been suppressed because of the societal pressures already outlined. I once worked with a teacher whose self-image was low because she realized that she was very different from other teachers. She was a very aggressive person, but could not acknowledge that. She offended her fellow teachers. Had she acknowledged her aggressiveness, she could have controlled this personality trait and used it to her advantage.
Second, women must build their careers around complete professionalism. It's the surest way to defuse the threat many men feel from powerful women. Unfortunately, many women who attain positions of authority, feel the need to "prove" themselves and rely on intimidation rather than cooperation. This is a major mistake. Women (men, too, for that matter) can capitalize on the fact that men and women naturally like each other. Women who can take an easy, professional approach within the lines of authority will be readily accepted. (And here's some food for thought: I've often heard from my female clients that the people with whom they have the most trouble are other women. I'm not sure why this is so.)
Finally, as I said at the outset, women must realize that they and they alone as individuals are ultimately responsible for their own success. They must clearly identify their internal talents and requirements, set goals for themselves and take the necessary steps to take charge of their careers.
Men and women can and must complement each other in the business world just as they do in life. Yes, there are some antiquated attitudes and terrible societal pressures, but it is professionalism and self-assurance, not demands and lectures, that will change them. The idea that women in the business world have the deck stacked against them is true, but it's never stacked against the competent, professional individual.
