This man had controlling interest in a company which he had founded and built into a large, profitable firm. However, he made a series of errors which led to his bigger mistake. First, he gradually sold his stock until he owned only 35 percent of the company. Second, he allowed some of the shares to slip into the hands of a few stockholders who were continually trying to vote him out of the company. He eventually became so tired of the constant bickering that he voted his shares with those who were trying to get rid of him. He was out of a job.
Of course, once his anger passed, he was devastated. He had no income, no job and no way to get the money he'd invested in his company. The only way he could continue to support his family was to accept his daughter's gift of a trust fund that had been established for her. The more he thought about the situation, the more despondent he became, even to the point of seriously considering suicide.
Recovering from a career mistake requires several steps:
1. First, admit the mistake - openly and honestly. We all prefer to find reasons why someone else was responsible for our mistakes. It is a fact that others usually contribute to our mistakes. In some cases they may be more than 50 percent responsible. But before we can recover from a mistake, we must accept our own responsibility. We alone determine our own behavior.
2. Second, analyze the damage. Usually the seriousness of a mistake is directly related to the boss's perception of how much it has cost him or her and the company. Not just in money, but in tarnished reputation, internal strife, reduced standing in the community. If the mistake is restricted to hurting the boss's pride, communicating a forthright repentant attitude will oftentimes bring about ftill repair. In the prior instance, however, it may well re quire both the repentant attitude as well as taking steps-perhaps requested of and suggested by the boss - designed to repair the damage. But if a mistake resulted in a substantial loss in these areas, it may be difficult to fix, and it may mean finding a new job.
3. Third, learn from the mistake. Or, to put it another way, analyze the internal damage to yourself We all like to say that we learn from our mistakes, but it frequently is passed off in simple terms of, "I made a mistake, I know it, now I'm tougher." The entire process of admitting a mistake includes analyzing how it happened and how to keep it from happening again, but more importantly, acknowledging the extent of damage to our pride, the diminished self-confidence, the extent of embarrassment in dealing with those who were affected by the mistake. One of the most common problems we see in our consulting business is the person who is unable to admit any such personal negative effect and who therefore doesn't deal with it. In effect this "closes over" an open wound which, unhealed, "festers" in the subconscious. Give it some air. Look at it. Admit it. Deal with it.
4. Fourth, avoid dwelling on the mistake. This seems a contradiction to the previous point, but it is not. Learning from a mistake shouldn't mean allowing it to damage your self-esteem. Once you have squarely and honestly acknowledged a mistake, have recognized your honest feelings about it, and have gone beyond the initial defensive posture, you have to avoid replaying the mistake over and over. The way to do this is to take time to remember all the times you didn't make that mistake. If we all sat down and listed the times we did something poorly and then listed the times we did something quite well, the success list would be much longer than the mistake list.
5. Fifth, forgive yourself. It is sad to see people who berate themselves endlessly for their failures. This self-forgiveness will occur in the process of doing what is suggested in the third and fourth points.
6. Sixth, develop a plan of action and stick to it. If the mistake means finding a new job, what kind of a job will it be and what is the best way to go about finding it? If the mistake means repairing some bruised relationships, spend time talking to the people the mistake affected. Admit the mistake, apologize for any trouble it caused them, and ask for their help in avoiding the mistake in the future. Ask what steps you can take in repairing the damage. Let me return to the man I mentioned earlier. Because of the stark honesty with which he faced his internal hurt and the damage to his pride, and because he was then able to set it aside and objectively reassess years of high level success, he regained his composure and had an excellent position within a month.
If you are going to make mistakes - and we all do - make energetic, active mistakes. People who make mistakes because they are vigorously plunging into their assigned challenges are easier to forgive (and can more easily forgive themselves) than people who make mistakes from lack of initiative or lack of focus. We've all heard many, many times that mistakes are inevitable, that they are part of learning and growing. But not until we really believe this will be able to be effective managers and employees.
