Unfortunately, we set up many mental blocks for ourselves that keep us from achieving this kind of self-knowledge. Perhaps by understanding some of these obstacles, we can more easily overcome them.
First and foremost is fear. It may be unconscious, but it is fear nonetheless.
We fear that if we fail at what we really want to do, it will hurt considerably more than sticking with something we do not really like. We fear that if we look too deeply within ourselves we will not like what we see. We fear unpleasant memories that we work hard to suppress. So we find our comfort zones and milk them for all they're worth.
Second is self-image, implanted in childhood. Erroneous perceptions of self, developed as children, are carried with us well into adulthood and prevent us from realizing our full potential.
Third is our general inability to communicate, especially with ourselves. Lack of self-communication prevents us from freely identifying our own values. Instead, we unquestioningly adopt the values of our parents, our schools, our peers, etc. We then become so steeped in the thinking and vocabulary of the field we're in that we often find it impossible to communicate with those outside the field. Ultimately, however, career success comes down to a matter of communication.
Lastly is denial. For the most part, we find it easier to deny that we have feelings which might be considered socially unacceptable (i.e. hatred of one's job) than to confront and deal with those feelings head on.
A standout in this regard is a man who, for two years, had systematically made all of the mistakes necessary to get himself fired, but he could never admit to himself that he was doing this since such actions run so strongly against the societal grain. It's far easier to subconsciously create external forces and then blame them for our misfortune.
Another case history from many years ago summarizes much of what I'm talking about here. My client in this instance had been a Royal Air Force colonel who was an expert in survival techniques. Upon leaving the service, he tried to make his way by teaching such techniques, but found virtually no market for it.
Eventually, he took a job selling solar heating equipment, rationalizing that converting people to alternative energy was a survival issue. It was a living (although not much of one), but certainly not what he really wanted.
Here's what was going on: During World War II, he had been a field sergeant in Europe. While talking to two other sergeants on the fringe of a battlefield, the lead sergeant took a direct hit from an enemy shell and was instantly reduced to a bloody mass. The other sergeant, who was second in command, went berserk, leaving my client in charge. From that time forward, this man had been questioning the survivor mentality, perhaps feeling guilty about having come through the incident unscathed while the other two men had not.
Once he was able to face this head-on, he was able to see that what he really wanted was to study the survivor mentality, research it and write about it. Eventually, he received a fellowship from a major university to do exactly that.
This, of course, is an extreme case, but it does illustrate the point. We all put up mental blocks that hamper our career decisions. Without understanding these mental blocks, we can never truly have that freedom.
Emotions are strange things. When we honestly acknowledge their presence, we control them. If we try to ignore them, they control us. However, if we acknowledge the presence of an emotion and see a reason for overcoming it, chances are that we will. It is a difficult task, but it is well worth the reward: Freedom of choice.