So if you're thinking about making a career move, be aware that you're about to step aboard an emotional roller coaster that will provide you with excitement, apprehension and a greater sense of personal pride. No matter how much individuals and their career moves might differ, there are some predictable emotional upheavals.
Unfortunately, most people either tend to deny what's happening to them or they get swept away in an unexpected flood of emotions. By clearly facing what's going on, it's possible either to use those emotions in a positive way or move forcefully to counteract them. In either case, a career move becomes easier to deal with, both for you and those around you.
A common first reaction is intense stress brought on by the denial of the need to make a change. When I start working with new clients, I ask them how long ago they first realized that a career move was in order. The usual reply is three or four months.
Later, as they deal with it more objectively, they almost always acknowledge that they should have realized it three or four (in one case, twenty-some) years earlier.
We tend to deny that we have career problems for three basic reasons:
1.) Facing them could upset our lives too much;
2.) It's easier to blame other things and people for the stress we have; and
3.) Our egos drive us to be successful at whatever we're doing, no matter how much we dislike it.
Admitting that a job is the cause of stress looks too much like failure. Gradually, however, at least awareness develops that the job is indeed the cause of the stress and eventually we come to a stark realization. This leads in most cases to the second reaction:
A strong level of fear
"Will I be able to cope with what I have to do?" is the question everyone grapples with.
The fear can sometimes be debilitating. Most people, however, come to grips with it and experience the third emotion: The beginning of a sense of excitement.
I liken this to the feeling you would have if leaving your hometown for the first time to go to a foreign country where you do not speak the language. You know you will experience some difficulties, but you know that it will be exhilarating and you know you will come through the experience alive. And, of course, everyone comes through their career moves alive and better off for them.
This sense of excitement later settles into a feeling of confidence and peace as people start reassessing their situation and deciding what they would really like to do. People stop using others as scapegoats for their problems, start making objective decisions about their careers, and consequently, feel a greater sense of control.
No matter how much you might feel you control the situation, though, the fear returns. First comes a fear of the decisions you have made. Was it really the right one? Are you making a wrong turn?
Then comes a fear of rejection.
Although positive responses to your marketing efforts can be a great motivator, many people are paralyzed by this fear and take a good deal of time to begin their contacts. Excuses become the order of the day.
An ex-CEO I worked with years ago kept putting off his job search so he could organize his notes. He must have had the world's best-organized notes, since it took him nearly six months to do it. Another former client decided to use his period of unemployment to paint his house, spending a week on (hiding in) each room.
These men were immobilized by fear, plain and simple. Though they had ascended to the highest levels of their industries, they were rendered helpless by their own fear. Both eventually solved their problem: They honestly acknowledged their fear and overcame it.
Finally, of course, is the exhilaration of finding a new job, or making the sought-after career change.
Many parts of our lives other than career follow the same pattern described here. But for some reason, things are different when it comes to career Examine any company and you will probably find a much larger number of people who are divorced than have ever quit a job or made a career change.
We seem to find it easy - even socially acceptable - to redesign our personal situations, but not our career situations. It's probably due to the intense ego identification we have with our jobs. The more intense such identification is, the more intense the emotions are when it comes time for a change.
Change is inevitable. Awareness of what to expect can only make the process easier.
