This problem is perpetuated because the job-hunting system requires a person to describe all the jobs ("holes") he or she has occupied and find another of at least similar shape. So a person leaves one uncomfortable setting and finds another.
The only way this can be alleviated (beyond the sheerest kind of luck) is to reverse the system we have long been taught to use and begin - not by looking for a job similar to those we have had - but by studying the "shape of the peg." In other words, each of us should first examine our own hopes and aspirations, and our talents and abilities as they reside within us; clarify our personal and career values; and, armed with this knowledge, determine where in the entire marketplace we are likely to find the position ("hole") which will fit us (the "peg"). Or, rather than relying on extrinsic evidence (degrees, training, experience), we should depend upon intrinsic evidence to make the decision,
The definition of our career is not out in the marketplace where jobs are listed. It is not in our backgrounds. The definition of a valid career for each of us lies within each of us. Honest self-knowledge is difficult to achieve. But very few things equal it in importance.
The Strongest People Recognize Their Weaknesses.
Two kinds of self-deception prevent us from achieving all that we can. The first kind of self-deception is false modesty, and it is usually practiced by people who have many talents but are afraid to reveal them because they would be expected to use those talents. A second kind of self-deception is denial. While people who deny that they have weaknesses appear at first to be extremely confident and capable, they are often the first to crack under stress. Because they fail to admit their weaknesses, they never correct them or learn to compensate for them.
The most successful people are those who are able to accurately assess their strengths and weaknesses, then capitalize on their strengths and compensate for their weaknesses.
I once worked with a top executive of a major company who made daily decisions involving monumental amounts of money and numerous people. He was one of the strongest, most confident people I have known. The key to his strength was his willingness to listen intently to anybody because he felt he still had much to learn. He understood his strengths and weaknesses, and he was content with himself
Accurately assessing strengths and weaknesses is difficult. Friends and family members usually know a lot about our strengths and weaknesses, but they are reluctant to share their knowledge for fear of offending us. In addition, because individual perceptions and situations vary, the feedback received from one source, such as a friend, may contradict the feedback received from another source, such as a boss. As a result, understanding our own strengths and weaknesses requires that we regularly "step outside ourselves" and examine our strengths and weaknesses as objectively as possible. Here are a few ways to do that:
Look at what interests you. Generally, whenever people have a dedicated interest in a field, they can be truly outstanding in that endeavor if they are willing to develop their talents. A good ex ample of this is the man who for many years had been an engineer at a manufacturing firm and gradually grew more dissatisfied. He was tired of engineering; he wanted to interact more with other people. Eventually, he left the company and accepted a communications position where his day-to-day contact with people was greatly increased. Because the job required very different skills from his previous position, he experienced a good deal of anxiety, However, he dedicated himself to redeveloping his people skills, and as he became more comfortable in his new role, he found that he was enjoying work more than he had in years.
Listen to what other people say about you. This seems very simple, but there is an amazing number of people who embark on their most fulfilling career path after being told for many years that they had a talent in that area. Many of us tend to brush off compliments from family members and friends, thinking that they are prejudiced and that their perceptions are therefore invalid. But these are usually the people who know us best. They often are aware of talents or interests that casual acquaintances, co workers or bosses would never see.
Take time out occasionally to reevaluate your strengths and weaknesses. As we grow and mature, our strengths and weak nesses change. What may have been challenging a few years ago may be routine today. Recognize that some changes may be temporary. Even the most socially bold extrovert has to walk on the beach alone once in a while, and the most introverted person occasionally needs human company. Other changes may be more permanent.
Select a confidant carefully. Some people feel threatened when friends make drastic changes, particularly if they are themselves unhappy. Most people don't intend their negative comments to be harmful, but jealousy can lead to acrimony.
