I was reading a paragraph on a resume where the applicant was explaining why he was a good fit for the job. The statement was impressive, too impressive. So I googled a couple of sentences from the statement and found the exact same paragraph from another resume posted online. I had the inclination to write him back, with a link to the resume he copied, telling him that I hired this person...
Scott Salzman
BrightSpot Solutions®, LLC
Back in 2006 while I was an admin in the communications office of an educational institution and responsible for processing all resumes for an open marketing project manager position. One resume that came in had "re-animated dead spiders for a puppet show" on it.
Joshua Kail
Co-Founder
Glass Lantern PR
I once had an internship candidate who was a PhD student list livestock herding on his resume. Turned out he was an immigrant/refugee from Africa (I think from Somalia) and at a fairly young age was herding the family's livestock.
It was really irrelevant for the programming internship he applied for but it certainly stood out.
AdiBittan
Co-founder & CEO
Owner Listens
I worked at a small private 4 year college for 4 years (from 2009-2013).
A senior had in her summary at the top "Five years interacting with the pubic"
Another student described her position as an RA with "TMI" like, helping drunk students back to their rooms
Rich Grant
Current president of the Maine College Career Consortium
I received a resume from a guy applying as a senior web software engineer whose primary experience was operating farm equipment in a developing country. There was no attempt to position the job in terms of what was learned or how it might apply to software engineering.
Steven Swimmer is Web and Digital Strategy consultant at Swimmer Media. He's been a web/digital professional since the mid-1990s, having worked in-house with The J. Paul Getty Trust building world-class cultural Websites, and Fox Broadcasting as Director of Online for Fox.com. Swimmer Media provides integrated web and digital strategy, production services, marketing and business development support for small and medium businesses.
When I worked for United Artists Theatre Corporation, I got a hand written resume that included past experience as a corpse mover. That was the actual title. But the best part was the pictures, especially the one of him smoking a huge joint. I think he thought we made movies, when in reality we were a movie theater chain.
Dawn Quiett
Q Public Relations and Marketing
I'm a professional comedian who tours the world doing clean comedy. I was interviewing for an assistant here in Manhattan. I received a FedEx, and when I opened it, there was another box inside which read "Hand Delivery for Dan Nainan". Inside was an envelope, with an actual rubber hand attached. It was the funniest thing I'd ever seen, and I burst out laughing. I was almost in tears!
Dan Nainan
We once came across a resume from a young man applying for a mortgage sales team leader position who wrote as an objective: "To get the Glengarry leads." This amusing nod to the 1992 film Glengarry Glen Ross evokes images of aggressive sales professionals, but in the end the leads were stolen. We decided not to call this applicant in for an interview.
George Bradbury
Founder of Bradbury & Partners
I was a production manager at Mosby publishers (a medical publisher) and had advertised for a production assistant. The one resume that will always stand out in my mind was:
Several sheets, with each sheet a different color (yellow, pink, and so on), cartoon drawings next to each item on the resume illustrating the items
A good laugh was had by all as I shared the resume in the office. And, of course, the person was never a serious contender because of the resume. I do not remember if she had any qualifications, but doubt it by the badly inappropriate resume.
Jacqui Brownstein
I was a hiring manager a few years ago and I saw a resume come across mydesk from someone who used to work at the company. He had been a staffmember under me. He was reapplying to work for us again. Under hisresponsibilities, he had listed MY job responsibilities as manager...notthe job he himself held. I called another company he listed and found heinflated his position there, too. We didn't call him in for an interview.
Deborah Graham
One earnest guy applied to work at the front desk of our Scottsdale spa with this proclamation:
"when it comes down to brass knuckles I would even be willing to put on a suit"
Heidi Lamar
Spa Lamar
In our world of LinkedIn, eHarmony and Facebook, differentiation is key. Itis what keeps us connected in our business and social networks, while highlighting differences in our experiences. Through Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat our lives have turned into an open book. Candidates have taken this philosophy into the marketing strategy for their career search. Their resumes have turned into what looks more like their eHarmony profile or their Facebook page. They highlight their experiences, while sharing too much personal information. At one time, resumes were formal documents expressing one's business accomplishments. Today they are more casual and less polished and professional, likely due to the more casual communication style we have developed thanks to email and texting.Candidates are quickly looking for incredible opportunities and not taking the time to tailor their resume and cover letter for what could be the opportunity of a lifetime. Preparation, polish and professionalism are the keys to resume writing and landing the job of a lifetime.
"Before anything else, preparation is the key to success." ~ AlexanderGraham Bell"
Kathy Marshall
Director of Recruitment Quality and Training
Decision Toolbox
I have literally seen people list the following under hobbies on their resume.
Hobbies:
Good with Guns
Know how to make a bomb
Great babysitter
Good speller
Can count without using my hands
-Terri Davis, Director Client Services, Decision Toolbox
Some things we've seen on resumes that shouldn't be:
Social security numbers
Hobbies
Marital status and number of kids
Pictures of the candidate
Email addresses showing questionable judgment
Troublesome misspellings such as:
shi$ instead of shift
Detail oriented spelled detail oreinted
-Nicole Cox, Chief Recruitment Officer, Decision Toolbox
I received a resume for a position where physical statistics weren't relevant but were included anyway:
Statistics:
Height: 5'4"
Waist: 28" Shirt Size: M
Hips: 33" Hair: Reddish black
Bust: 34" Eyes: Earth Green
Pant Size: 5/6 Shoe Size: 8 1/2
-Gene Gordon, Sourcing Expert, Decision Toolbox
Hobbies: I enjoy making hang noose ropes and theatrical masks in my spare time.
(I will never forget that one- it was an IT candidate, can't recall job title or skill set.)
-Jennifer Bensusen, PHR, Sr. Recruitment Partner & Technology Lead, Decision Toolbox
I had a candidate resume show that they had served in the GOLF WAR. They were referring to the GULF WAR.
Oh - the typos!
-Sara McDermott, eLearning Specialist / Quality Coach, Decision Toolbox
I had an HR Director's resume state that she supervised a "desperate" group of Generalists - I think she meant "disparate."
-Karen Chiapparo, Recruitment Partner, Decision Toolbox
I had a candidate list that "liked to be immersed in fats". Perhaps they were a cross channel swimmer.
And then there was the marketing manager who worked for international condom line who insisted that he was "up for every and any challenge".
Although perhaps the most interesting was a candidate who mentioned in his cover letter that after a dispute with his neighbor, the neighbor set fire to, and burned down, my candidate's house so that he was currently living in an RV, thus "relocation was not an issue."
-Duncan Taylor, Recruitment Partner, Decision Toolbox
I have seen so many times that they "posses" rather than "possess" specific skills.That is a very big difference.
-Kathy Marshall, Director of Recruitment Quality and Training, Decision Toolbox
Not a resume goof but an interview goof that was so silly we had to share:
We had a guy show up for an interview in a wrinkled t-shirt, shorts and flip flops. The t-shirt was also stained. When he arrived, he apologized for his appearance but said that he spilled coffee on his suit. (If that was your only option, wouldn't you keep on the suit and just let them know you spilled coffee down the front of you?)
He then proceeded to pick his toes while talking to the interviewer. Needless to say, he didn't get the job.
-Jennifer Bensusen, PHR, Sr. Recruitment Partner & Technology Lead, Decision Toolbox
I had a resume come through that had the same exact 7 bullet points listed as her responsibilities for all her positions dating back to 1987. Mind you she had various positions with different companies. She just copied and pasted all the way down. She also listed she had her MBA...Not so smart I would say...
Kelly Bunker Rivers, Recruitment Partner and Project Manager, Decision Toolbox
I had one candidate write that she had a photogenic memory. The irony kills me! I'm still not sure what that means, but I hope she meant "photographic" memory!!
Domini Clark, Recruiting Partner, Decision Toolbox
Here are a few things I have come across on the opening lines of resumes, I'm not even sure what they are trying to get across at times...then put this with the writing errors and it definitely becomes a "silly" resume.
Passion + Perseverance = Promise
Value Excitement > Price.
I am Extremely competitive in all aspects of life
A people person engineer with social skills.
Dear Employer, I am submitting my resume for your Sales Engineer position. I hold an English BA, Sales, Marketing, Admin., Mac/PC, Real Estate Appraisal (MLS, MetroScan, DC Sketch, report writing), Editing/Writing, Antique Oriental rug business (furnishing the homes of billionaires & film stars), start-up experience (founding Analyst of Pandora, designer of the Music Genome Project), language skills, small business ownership, and much more.
Stephanie Lyon, Recruiting Partner, Decision Toolbox
Wacky Mail I Have Received
From Rhode Island:
My associate's degree in communications along with my three years experience writing for student publications, eye for detail and computer proficiency makes me an ideal candidate for a writing,proofreading or copyediting position. . . .
Maintained weekly clomun highlighting achievements of student athletes.Nurtutred and cultivated contatcts within the athletic adminsitration coaching staff and athletes. Travelled with teams,edited copy. . .
Proofreading skills, excellent eye for detail.
Able top type at 50 wdspm
Cover letter:
I found this in my draw [uncashed check from our organization to hers dated four years earlier] -Why? I'm not sure, but for your records here it is.
Did you ever fill your position? I'd be interested in it.
Cover letter from California sent to our organization, a left of center advocacy group:
There is nothing I like better than sitting down at my computer and loading it with ammunition to be used against the Left. I have plenty to contribute. I also love to crack the covers of books I am very well known among my peers for this kind of activity, and I am good at it.
Cover letter
I apologize that I don't have the time for a longer letter, but I have an appt to take my cat to the vet.
Cover letter from Poland:
I suppose that this letter will be welcome negative, however would like to come into correspondence with you.
Robert Ellis Smith
Publisher
Privacy Journal
See below spreadsheet and graphic, they are how I introduce myself to my current clients. The graphical one was a portrait of me by a team mate in the UK. The matrix is both a demonstration and documentation of my marketing guru-hood!
Spreadsheet:
Graphic:
I used to include how I have excavated human remains as an archaeologist, but removed that part. It frightened people!
Michael W. Frishberg
