I don't agree, simply because of the chemistry issue. There's a match or there isn't. It can happen on the first interview or not until the 30th. All I know is that how you present yourself and how you communicate will greatly impact the outcome of your job interview. This chapter will explore both factors.
Normally, when we think of communication we think of conversation. In reality, communication requires more listening than speaking. More specifically, it means listening for understanding. For the next four to six weeks listen to what casual acquaintances, colleagues, friends, vocational counselors, prospective employers and even head hunters tell you about yourself.
Once you pay close attention and listen to others, you will quickly learn how you are perceived. You may not always be happy with the feedback you get, but that's okay too. Better to hear it than wander around in ignorance. Learning how others see you is the first step to learning how to effectively present yourself in an interview situation.
Communication doesn't just happen, although we may think it either works or it doesn't. Actually, we deliberately choose to communicate with someone or not.
If you handle a business failure or job layoff candidly in an interview and then move on to more positive issues, so too will the interviewer. It's only when an interviewer senses something isn't right and doesn't know why that he or she will stay on a sensitive topic.
Communication occurs between two active participants. If your spouse is talking to you and you're tuned out because you've heard it all before, no communication is going on. If a friend tells you she doesn't think your career choice is a good one and you automatically discount her opinion, no communication is going on.
Okay, you may say, all this talk about communication is interesting, but I'm not sure it's all that important for job search. Well, it's true the interview is a crazy, unpredictable game and it's often not played fairly, but I've seen more job seekers succeed among those who present their skills and attitudes openly than among those who attempt to hide issues or inflate their worth.
Think back on your last interview. (If you haven't been on one yet, or in a long time, think of an exchange in which something important was at stake.) What messages did you send? What kind of feedback did you get? A furrowed brow?
A phone call taken? A quizzical look? A smile or compliment? All are forms of feedback. How did you react to it? Did you acknowledge it? Ignore it? Assess it? Respond to it? When communication truly occurs between two people, a synergy results. Did you feel you were really communicating with the interviewer - that he or she really got to know and evaluate you for the person you are - or did the two of you merely go through the motions? Why or why not? Would you do anything differently if you could do it again?
When communication breaks down, we usually blame the other guy. ("That so-and-so.") But in job search, you can't afford to play this game; too much is at stake. Sure, there are plenty of terrible interviewers out there. Some just don't know how to do it, some are uncomfortable asking questions, some don't care who you are. The point is, don't let the interviewer stand in the way of your gaining a good career or job opportunity. Do your best to initiate conversation and relax the interviewer. "Not fair!" you may say. "I'm the one who's nervous."
