Peer pressure, real or imagined, is one thing. But being kicked out is something else again. In their book, Forced Out: When Veteran Employees Are Driven from Their Careers, authors Hilda Scott and Juliet Brudney track the experiences of older workers who have been victims of age discrimination. A strong pattern emerges: 10 to 20 years of satisfactory or even exemplary job performance, a change of leadership caused by an economic crunch, then an unsatisfactory performance review. Embarrassed, the employee is stunned into silence. Harassment, subtle and not-so-subtle, begins until the older employee resigns or retires early. Or the department is reorganized but the same function ends up being handled by another department under another name, with the middle manager being reassigned to a position with little power or purpose. When the employee becomes thoroughly demoralized, he or she is called in and the parachute or "window" is offered. (The package is sometimes called a window because there is a limited time the offer will be "open." If you don't accept it within that time, the opportunity will disappear or "close.") The employee understands clearly that he or she is no longer wanted.
Many who have accepted parachutes have gone forward and started brand-new businesses or careers for themselves. Some even look back on the experience as a blessing in disguise. Others, though, have been so scarred by the experience that they won't even consider reentering the workplace. A 1990 Commonwealth Report indicated there are nearly two million retired Americans over 50 who would love to not retire. More than half, however, aren't even looking for work. Why?
They're discouraged, they say. I say they're suffering from poor self-esteem. And the only way to build self-esteem is to identify what you want and take the risks necessary to achieve it. If that means girding for battle, so be it.
Scott and Brudney compared the treatment older employees received in nonprofit organizations and social-service agencies with the treatment they got in corporate America. The authors discovered they fared no better in the public sector. Even school districts have their own methods of harassment. One 68-year-old teacher I know was pressured to retire by her administration. Last spring she refused; this fall she was assigned to all the problem classes. She has announced she will retire next semester.
Before You Leave
Most interviews conclude with the interviewer saying something like, "Thanks for coming in. I have several more candidates to interview before I make my decision. But I should have an answer for you by Thursday. We'll get in touch with you." If you've noticed, there has been a real shift of power here: The interviewer now has all of it. But don't worry, you still have a few more aces up your sleeve.
You can't just lie down and give this person all this power over you. It's not psychologically healthy. Therefore, it is imperative that you say, "Great. I look forward to hearing from you. But, you know, I'm in and out a great deal right now- on interviews and such. If I don't hear from you by Thursday afternoon, would you mind if J called you first thing Friday morning?"
The interviewer can't possibly object, having already said he or she will call you on the preceding day. By doing this, you not only will feel you have more control, you will be in control.
On the practical side, you don't have to wait by the phone until Thursday and you can actively pursue other jobs. The interviewer will sense a shift of power and, if you do it subtlely, will acknowledge it gracefully. Remember, hiring is an emotional decision, and you want to come across as powerfully as you can-without intimidating the interviewer.
Congratulations! If you are not already employed, you soon will be.
I firmly believe personal power is synonymous with our view of ourselves and our level of self-understanding. Yet, if it's a matter of what comes first, I'd have to say that self-understanding is precursory to self-empowerment.
Over the years I've come to realize that people cannot and will not take appropriate risks unless they have a good understanding of their own realized and unrealized potentials. Everyone begins job search at a different place. As you have learned, the process of self-understanding does not come in a jar or even in a book. Sometimes the in-ward search produces little of interest and seems to move at the slowest possible pace; but at other times, the sudden comprehension of relationships and self-understanding comes so quickly it takes your breath away. With understanding and acceptance comes personal power. Because there are no games to play, because the facade is gone, you are just who you are. It is at this point, when personal power emerges, that you begin to take some risks. With risk comes potential reward-as in a job that matches and meshes with who you are today.
You are employable. There are many employers out there who would be delighted to hire you, with all your skills, abilities and life experience, except they don't know who you are. It's up to you to find them and tell them. Now that you understand the potential payoffs to risk and you possess the tools for creative job search, you will be able to quickly identify those employers. And best of all, you now have a much stronger understanding of what you want from a job as well as from your life.
Finally, job search is hard work, and it can and will wear you down. Choose your mate or an empathetic friend-some-one you trust-to share the ups and downs of this journey. Explain that you need a cheerleader, someone on your side, and ask point-blank if this confidant is up to the job. If the person hesitates, find someone else. Then share each interview experience, both the good and the not-so-good. Lean on your cheer leader when times are tough; celebrate with him or her when the light breaks through. Good luck, and keep that sparkle in your eye. It makes people wonder what you've been up to!
