Sure, it's hard asking for help. Our generation was raised to take care of ourselves. My dad insisted I be tough, macho, and streetwise. He told me to fight my own battles, do it alone, and rely on my own instincts. So what if I got the stuffing kicked out of me every so often and experienced daily doses of stinging rejection? Hey, those were the breaks and that's the way life worked. So why be a wimp and cry about it? In short, broadcasting weakness of any kind was considered a cardinal sin. Clearly not 21st century thinking.
IT'S OKAY TO BE HUMAN
Thankfully, times and attitudes have changed. The human race has been freed. We can let all our emotions hang out and be ourselves. We can cry, get angry, or lie down on the floor and have screaming temper tantrums.
Thanks to the powerful women's movement, female workers can be assertive and aggressively compete on the business front and in politics. Capitol Hill bureaucrats even gave women pilots, permission to fly fighter jets in battle.
Gays no longer have to pretend they're straight. They may not be totally accepted, but at least they're no longer ostracized and barred from jobs. The law is finally on their side. Long overdue. And men? Thanks to writers like John Bradshaw and Robert Bly, they're also getting into the act. Even though many are still resisting, a vocal minority are finding their feminine sides, making peace with their dads, joining encounter groups, and discovering its "okay" to express their innermost feelings and fears.
RELEARN AN OLD SKILL
With all this transition working for us, it shouldn't be difficult to build a solid support front, easing the burdens and frustrations of the job hunt.
Still, chances are, it's been a long time since you've pounded the pavement searching for work. All the more reason that you need as much support and encouragement as you can get. Job hunting is difficult for anyone, but it can be especially tedious if you've been out of the job market for a couple of decades. Take it from a pro. It's not that difficult once you get the hang of it.
As you'll soon discover, job searching can't be a part-time effort. It's got to be an obsession and become your life. The more allies you have in your corner, the easier it will be.
BUILD A WALL OF SUPPORT ON SEVERAL FRONTS
Keep in mind that different people can serve different functions. The more people you have to share your feelings and job-hunting experiences with, the better. Here are some key sources.
- Family
- Friends
- Support Groups
Also, many churches, synagogues, and nonprofit organizations like the YMCA, YWCA, YMHA, and YWHA offer a variety of support services.
Forty Plus, for example, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping middle-aged, out placed executives find new jobs, offers members support groups plus a raft of other services
CREATE YOUR OWN MUTUAL SUPPORT GROUP
If none of these support styles appeal to you, nothing is preventing you from forming your own mutual support group. Many former corporate managers have enjoyed pouring surplus energy into getting small groups off the ground. It is easier than you think. A group can be started by running a three- or four-line ad in a local weekly or by posting a notice on a community bulletin board. Meeting space is easier to find than you realize. Explain the purpose of the group, and you'll be pleasantly surprised when schools, churches, banks, and even small companies agree to donate a room. Then it's up to you to harness your organizational and problem-solving skills to focus the group members on achieving some mutual goals.
Beyond sharing similar experiences, members can report on different sectors of the job market, passing on hints and tips. One job hunter's experiences can serve as valuable lessons for others. You'd be surprised how valuable these meetings can be. If a meeting serves no other purpose than to exchange battle talk from peers in the same fight, it's well worth your time.