The key question of the day was what could be done for this executive to help him overcome his problem. My suggestion was this: "For five minutes before you go into your next interview, program yourself to be your best self. Say to yourself, 'I'll give the interviewer the benefit of the doubt. I'll be more positive than I usually am. I'll question things just a little bit less than I normally do."
My suggested course of action was not designed to make over this executive. Not at all. It was intended to help him compensate for an obvious weakness, and in so doing reveal to his prospective boss his best self. I was sure that just thinking for five minutes about how negatively he came across would make him a little less abrasive during his interviews. Just being conscious of how he projected would make him just a tiny bit more sensitive to the effect of his questioning mind on the person who might become his boss.
Three days after our mock interview session, I received an ecstatic phone call from him. He told me that he had had two interviews with the same company in the two days after our meeting. During the second interview he was offered a job. He was unabashedly grateful, although when you think about it, all I did was act as a sounding board to help him know how he came across to his interviewers.
Now you might say that programming yourself to be a better interviewee is a hypocritical approach to take. You might well feel that if your prospective boss doesn't want you just the way you are, you really don't want to work for him anyhow. This alternative view is, I suppose, legitimate, but I don't subscribe to it. When you read an ad for a new product or service, it sells the good things this new item or service brings. It doesn't dwell on the things that are not so good. You'll find out the not-so-good things when you investigate further. It's a sure bet, though, that you won't investigate at all if the good points of the product don't intrigue you first. Programming yourself prior to an interview has a single purpose. It helps you show your best self to your prospective boss. It gets him intrigued enough to check your references. He'll learn your bad points then. Don't worry. But he won't check your references at all if the only things he remembers about you are your weaknesses.
Had the suggestion I made to this executive not resulted in success for him, I never would have made it again. The fact that he managed to land a job only two days after our discussion, following so many unsuccessful interviews, however, led me to investigate interview techniques further. I asked friends who had interviewed job candidates what mistakes were most commonly made by them. Then I began to simulate interviews with all the job-seekers who sought my counsel. I was anxious to see whether they too were making mistakes that could be corrected. This investigation led to three conclusions. A lot of good people were missing getting good jobs simply because they didn't present themselves in the most favorable light during their interviews. Most of them were unaware of the problems inherent in their interview style. Most, if not all, of the problems were correctable once they surfaced.
To help you sell your best self, try the following two-step program.
First, have someone help you identify your interview weaknesses. A friend of a friend whom you haven't previously met is the best person to help you do this. If the friend-of-a-friend is someone in your field so much the better. This objective third party is likely to provide the best appraisal of your personal selling techniques.
If you don't have an objective friend, there's another alternative. Frequently in your job-seeking campaign you'll receive letters from companies or executive recruiters who state:
We don't have a job opening suited to your experience at this time. However, we would like to meet you so that we may know more of your background in the event an opportunity for which you are suited does become available.
If you have the opportunity to meet someone who doesn't have a job opening for you, you have a perfect chance to review with him what he really thinks of you. After the formal interview is over, say to him, "Since we're not talking about a specific opening at this time, may I ask a small favor of you? Would you give me a critique of my interview style? Let me know of any personal idiosyncrasies I might not be aware of. It could help me in future interviews."
This is a flattering opportunity to be helpful. Most executives will be more than willing to do this much to help you in your job search.
