Many job seekers, like Erica, who have extensive networks, don't use them to find jobs because:
- They feel as though they are begging,
- They are acknowledging their need for assistance (often an excruciating experience for people who are accustomed to being in control)
For both parties, traditional networking is often inadequate. The net-worker dislikes asking for help and is bothered by the idea of using the other person. The network contact, on the other hand, may have little incentive to make time to fulfill the request.
Another Approach to Networking Offer to Help
Networking can be a win-win experience when it's mutually beneficial, shared assistance and information. By using this approach, you can rein force your network, rather than draw from it.
Instead of asking for help, offer to help!
What a difference a preposition can make! It signals a 180-degree change in perspective. Now you are "them" oriented, rather than "me" oriented. By asking: ''What can I do for you", rather than ''What can you do for me". You can probably get more information and you:
- are more likely to accomplish your first objective-a face-to-face meeting
- Strengthen your own position and confidence. By offering to assist, rather than asking for help, you put yourself on an equal footing with the contact
- recognize that he's interested in what's in it for him. Show that you have something of value to offer (yourself and your services)
- focus your attention on the contact and his needs, demonstrating your interest in that person and the organization
- can determine whether or not there is some task or activity you could do
- expand your network
- This job seeker is appealing to my self-interest (as well as my company's needs).
- He's talking about my problems, not his.
- By asking intelligent questions about our company and listening to my answers, he certainly seemed interested in what we do here.
- He's made a good impression simply doing that.
- Even though we're not sure how he could help us, I probably should meet with him. He may have some ideas on how we could move ahead on our dandelion distribution project-our top priority.
- We don't need anyone full-time, but we do have that orangutan feeding problem that's been so.
- Maybe he has some ideas about solving that.
- I'm encouraging him to stay in touch. You never know when we could use someone like that around here.
Make Every Meeting an Information Interview
Become an Info Sponge. That's not a mysterious creature of the deep. It's you-in your Sherlock Holmes hat, with your ever-ready notepad in your pocket. Why limit yourself to information interviews when you can learn a lot more informally? Every conversation you have-with neighbors, relatives, friends, colleagues-is a chance to learn something. Or it's a lost opportunity. Every social situation, from neighborhood block parties to class reunions to holiday parties, is an excellent time to get "caught up" on what's going on in other people's companies. You're asking questions about business, industry, new developments, specific companies, who works there, their competition, the decision makers, etc.
From Networking to Safety Net(work) The Need
We all rely on others for friendship, support, information, and our need to feel connected to a community: our safety net(work). The relationships you build become your interpersonal security system. Support systems have always been important. Nowadays, they're more vital than ever because of:
- changes in families and communities, including
- mobility (physical separation) and
- social disintegration of families
- changes in the workplace, including
- shorter duration of jobs
- less job security
- more contract, temporary, and part-time work
- more people working at home, isolated from others
You'll recall inadequate information is what separates you from your next employer. So whether you're employed or not, the care and feeding of your network should be a top priority. One of the hazards of being "married to your job" is that when it ends, some key relationships may also end. Many out-placed executives learned that painful lesson.
Three additional facts should be remembered:
- The average young worker will have at least 10 jobs in his or her career.
- Most people (60-70%) find employment through someone they know.
- Your network will shrink unless you reinvigorate and expand it.
How Do You Reinforce Your Safety Net(work)?
Think of yourself as a resource. A particularly good time to be supportive of others is when you are employed. Before you need help. But every day is a good day to do something for someone. Investing in others is nourishing your safety net, as well as theirs, because it makes you both feel good. Do it because you want to, not because you expect anything in return.
Listen. Most people love to talk about themselves. By listening, you'll create fertile soil for relationships to blossom. Good listeners are also rewarded with more accurate information, a better understanding of oneself and others, and much more.
You can improve your listening habits if you want to. Start by listening to yourself. Becoming aware of your listening habits is the first step to improving them. Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you usually talk more than you listen?
- What are your listening strengths?
- What are your weaknesses?
- Do you frequently interrupt?
- Do you daydream?
- Do you jump to conclusions?
- Have you heard about the merger between Peptic Pork Rinds and No Win Noodles? Do you think they'll be laying off people?
- Did you read the article in today's paper about the president of Incontinent Investments retiring? Do you think there'll be a big shake-up in the company?
- I did some strategic planning for Misguided Moving and Storage and Manny Misguided was so pleased with my work that he has recommended me to Mismatched Furniture. Do you know anyone at Mismatched?
