Questions such as will I like him? and will she like me? May seem trivial until you go through the process, but they take on a strange significance once you set the date. Yes, there will be some elements of feeling one another out, some aspects of courtship, and, of course, some elements of selling. And each of you will be doing a bit of both.
Here is where you want to walk a fine line. You want to appear neither aggressive nor submissive in this encounter. If your concept of a job interview has overtones of either desperation or hard sell, erase those thoughts now. The most successful attitude you can convey is one of staying in charge of you.
Your Attitude
From the moment you first think about it, each meeting is an opportunity to exchange information, a way to see whether the relationship should go further. Fix this firmly in your mind, and the rest will begin to fall into place.
You are there to learn and share, and so is your prospect. Each of you wants to find out more about the other. Your goal should be to help each of you see whether your skills and your prospect's needs is a good match. Provide your prospect with the opportunity to see how you measure up and to show you, in return, how he or she measures up. You will both want to gather more facts, but you will also want to gather impressions. This is where you have the edge: You can start collecting your impressions of the organization even before you meet the interviewer.
You should also keep in mind that you are there to be sold as much as you are to sell. Be professional at all times.
Stress Levels
When you enter an interview, focus entirely on the other person. That will help keep you from thinking about yourself and becoming self- conscious. Self-consciousness could cause you to communicate feelings of insecurity regardless of how subtly you might try to control them. In fact, trying to control nervousness can cause your attention to turn even further inward. You could become distracted in your efforts to concentrate on the interviewer, causing the process to go even further downhill.
The message? Head up. "Keep your eyeballs off your belly button,'' as the drill sergeant used to say in boot camp. Direct your total attention toward your interviewer and take in all the information you can, just as quickly as you can absorb it.
When the interview goes right, the potential employer will want to know whether you'll be an asset and you will want to know whether the opening is right for you. The interviewer will be looking for clues about your character, and you will be assessing the interviewer and the company. It's a matter of give and take, with both participants striving to do the appropriate amount of giving and taking.
Interviews need not be highly stressful experiences. Certainly a little stress may be in order, but let's let the cat out of the bag and acknowledge that interviewers can feel anxious too. Unless your field is human resources, it is unlikely that you have done very much interviewing from the employer's side of the desk. That may also hold true for the person who will interview you.
Instead of thinking about putting yourself at ease, you might reframe that thought and consider how you might help make your interviewer feel more comfortable. Then, even if employment interviewing is a relatively unfamiliar experience for each of you, you will be more focused on the other person's feelings than your own.
With stress at a level you can manage, your mind becomes clearer and, in an interview, the dialogue becomes more meaningful. So whether you have gone through dozens of employment interviews or are facing your first one, keep in mind that having a positive perception of what should take place is the first step toward helping it become a reality. Attitude may not be everything but, as the saying goes, "It sure beats whatever is in second place."
What can you expect to happen during the interview? Here is where all your research and planning pay off again. Since most employers are neophytes when it comes to employment interviewing, you can almost call the shots just by being properly prepared. A note of caution, however: This much power carries with it grave responsibilities—and risks. You have the responsibility to ensure that each of you gains and provides the input the other needs. And you take the risk that your own skills may overwhelm the situation and not give either of you clear and accurate information about the other.
Cliches must have some truth to them, or they would not survive. The one that comes to mind here is: Knowledge is power. And going in, you have far more knowledge about the potential employer than your interviewer could hope to have about you. Most interviewers will not have put as much planning and preparation into the interview as you have. You again have the edge.
There is no question that your homework has given you enough information to keep the interviewer responding to your questions throughout most of the meeting. Having absorbed the information, you will also know how to use skills that will have him or her doing so enthusiastically.
In fact, the information provided here could enable you to swamp the interviewer. If you do that, however, both sides will lose because you will leave the meeting without ever having given the interviewer the opportunity to gain the input needed to make the right decision.
These tools and techniques have existed for centuries; researchers have merely refined and codified them in recent times. Use them to help improve the quality of communications in your life and in the lives of others. Your goal in this environment is to end up with the right job and the right employer. You have an obligation to help ensure that your interviewer ends up with the right employee for the right reasons. How do you find out what you need to know, such as what your upset greatly and perhaps eliminate it entirely. Preparation—informational and emotional—is your key to a successful interview.
