Make Your First Impression, the Last One

First impressions are lasting ones. The employer already has a few ideas of what you may be like just from having looked at the quality and content of the materials you submitted. They must have been acceptable, or you would not have been invited to interview. If you completed an application form while you were waiting for the meeting, that also will be scrutinized. People in the communications fields, particularly advertising, marketing, and public relations; have told me horror stories about prospective employers who sent their letters and resumes back to them without any comment other than the circling of typographical errors. Before you decide that this may be a clever idea for you to try yourself, however, keep two things in mind: (1) the candidate may not be a good typist or proofreader but may know how to supervise those who have such skills, (2) as we noted earlier, what goes around does indeed come around. No field is so large that one can afford to risk alienating those with whom – or for whom – he or she may one day have to work.

Most people rely on appearance in making their first assessment of others, particularly those who might be working for them one day. As you read earlier, appearance and attire are the most important parts of that first impression. If you have passed the first test, the visual inspection, you should feel comfortable about proceeding to learn more about the interviewer.

Interviewers are people too. They listen on two channels as we all do: They gather facts, but they also gather impressions. How you come across will therefore account for a large portion of the interview's success. The more quickly you get in step, the more smoothly your meeting will flow.



The Handshake

A handshake is always appropriate at the first meeting. Extend your hand and accompany the gesture with a warm, friendly smile. If the other person doesn't respond to the gesture, simply put your hand back down. If there's a problem, it's not yours, nor is it of your making. Of course, people who come across as bone-crushers or limp fish when they shake hands are not well received. If you have wondered what to do about this issue, here is a tip that has worked for many clients: Look at the interviewer's hand briefly and then at your own, so you know where to connect. Then immediately look at his or her eyes. As you do, think to yourself, "This is an excellent opportunity for both of us." Say, "Thank you for inviting me to meet with you." If you establish the right feelings inside your head, they should travel down through the muscles in the hand, and you will have just the right amount of gripping pressure. Three or four pumps from the elbow should suffice. Don't complicate your life by using "Pleased to meetcha" or a similar cliché. "Thank you for inviting me to meet with you" works much better. Try it. (And don't be surprised if the interviewer responds with a cliché such as: "Oh, it's my pleasure, I'm sure.")

Eye Contact

Much has been written about eye contact. The simplest rule is the best one: Don't shun it, and don't stare. It's important to see each other eye-to-eye, but keep the contact brief, warm, and accepting. Besides helping you to come across well, eye contact will give you a window into the interviewer's thoughts and emotions. You can use it to assess how well you're doing, when to shift gears, when to stop talking, when to amplify a point, and when to ask another question.

Smiles

Yes, there is a mile between the two “s” and a warm smile will carry you at least that far emotionally. Science has shown that a smile, even if a little strained at first, actually causes a positive response in the brain. Physiologically, it helps to relieve stress and ease the mind's fight-or-flight concerns.

Voice

Your voice should sound warm and friendly, but not syrupy or condescending. It should convey a certain air of authority and poise, yet it should not come across as aggressive or pompous. It should communicate enthusiasm, yet it should not be boisterous.

If your voice sounds flat, your interviewer may wonder whether you are not in agreement, especially if you responded with flat tones right after you said something with which he or she disagreed strongly. When you speak in a high or nasal voice, your interviewer may feel you are communicating a sense of frustration or lack of control over a situation, as though there were nothing you could do about it.

If you are too loud, the conclusion may be that you are insisting too strongly on making a particular point and possibly that you lack self-confidence in that area. If you begin to mumble or speak too quietly, you may give the impression that you are uncomfortable with your own statement, trying to think out loud, or hoping to fill a nervous pause. If you speak as though you are pushing or pressing, your listener may feel that you are trying to provoke, whether consciously or subconsciously. To maintain rapport, monitor your own voice tones against the interviewer's. If he or she uses one of these tones momentarily, you can match it briefly, but it is not to your advantage to match a negative tone for long. Instead, shift your own tones toward more congenial ones as quickly as possible.