Most of these semantic problems occur when the words used can have more than one meaning, no meaning, or any meaning the speaker or listener chooses to assign. The examples and suggestions that follow should help you come up with responses that will be more helpful to each of you. (The concept is not phrased as you should respond.)
Problem: Information Is Missing
Statement: "Your resume is not very achievements-oriented."
Probe concept: What specifically makes you feel that way?
Problem: You Don’t Know to Whom or to What the Speaker Refers
Statement: "I find this to be stretching things a little."
Probe concept: What is it you're having difficulty with?
Problem: You Don't Know What Is Being Compared
Statement: "The academic part of your background could be better."
Probe concept: Better than what? In what way?
Problem: The Action Is Not Clear
Statement: "You seem to have involved yourself in a lot."
Probe concept: How do you mean that? In what way?
Problem: The Questioner Turns a Process into an Event
Statement: "The committee will have to make the final decision."
Probe concept: In your view, what criteria will they use?
Problem: The Questioner Reads Minds
Statement: "Everyone knows that..."
Probe concept: How can we be sure what everyone thinks?
Problem: The Source of the Belief or Opinion Is Unclear
Statement: "Some say this kind of experience may be a disadvantage today."
Probe concept: Who says this?
Problem: The Cause and Effect Are Unclear
Statement: "The absence of a master's may create problems for you"
Probe concept: How is that likely to happen?
Problem: Imperative Statements Are Made (Must, need to, have to, cannot, unable, etc.)
Statement: "You need to have at least three years' experience doing…"
Probe concept: What would be the outcome if I just don't have that, but could offer something else just as good?
Problem: The Statement Is Overblown
Statement: "Regulators always say that about our company."
Probe concept: What are they saying? Under what circumstances?.
More Rehearsal
Write down the questions you might get in each of the above categories and then practice your responses aloud. Always phrase your replies so that they will be most acceptable to your interviewer and will encourage elaboration. Watch your voice tones.
This is also the time to jot down anything else you might encounter or that has confronted you in previous interviews. Doing so now will give you the practice you need to be at your best when such a situation arises in the future.
Listening with a Purpose
If you find yourself speaking more than the interviewer, you may be saying too much. We have all heard that the person who listens holds more power than the person who tells. Sometimes, though, the problem is one of not knowing how to listen.
It will be to your advantage to pay genuine attention at all times to what the interviewer tells you. Gather every bit of information you can on what life on the job would be like. Later on, you will need this input to make a better decision. Listening carefully will give you the opportunity to determine the best ways to respond to whatever you hear. It will also enable you to tailor your responses to address the interviewer's needs.
What the Interviewer Is Saying
One of the problems with listening—really listening—is that we often assume we know what the other person means, and we tune out part of our minds so that we can rehearse what we want to say next. In the process, we often fall victim to misunderstanding. We frequently act as though an employment interview were comprised of a person who asks questions and a person who answers them. That is anything but true. As you have seen, you have a right, even an obligation, to ask questions. However, you also have a need to listen carefully to whatever you hear.
A Point to Ponder
There are thousands of words in the dictionary, millions of ways to combine words into sentences, and perhaps hundreds of millions of ways to combine sentences into paragraphs. Of all those possibilities, your interviewer has chosen to say whatever he or she has said.
That is fact. It is your input, your raw data for something even more important. It is your basis for understanding. Might you wonder why, out of myriad possibilities, your interviewer chose to make a particular statement? If you do, you have taken the first step toward becoming a careful listener. Consider a statement as seemingly innocuous as this one: "This job requires someone who can handle several projects at once," says the interviewer.
There it is, simple enough. So simple that the common, knee-jerk reaction is usually to try to respond immediately with something like this: "Oh, I have to do a lot of that in my present job. As a matter of fact, when you launch into this monologue, you have lost a major opportunity. First of all, as we have seen, words constitute less than 10 percent of the total communication in any dialogue. Visual and auditory input comprises the rest. What we see and how we hear provide the input for how we feel about things. Some other things to consider are that:
- People respond best to those who really listen none judgmentally.
- You don't learn anything new when it's your voice that's doing the talking.
- Most of what you tell the interviewer will be forgotten before the day has ended.
If impressions are that important and listening has a higher value than speaking, why not get behind the speaker's words and try to learn more? Think about the interviewer's statement again: "This job requires someone who can handle several projects at once."
Your Options
The interviewer must have told you that for a reason. Interviews are brief; time is precious; no message is without meaning. It will be up to you to discover what's behind the words. Here are your most valuable options for doing so. You can:
- Explore the interviewer's statement in more depth
- Seek to learn the intentions behind telling you this
- Learn the interviewer's feelings on the matter
- Find out what this means to him or her
- Determine what actions the interviewer feels are appropriate
- Explore the interviewer's statement in more depth: "Greta, I wonder if you could be a little more specific. What kinds of projects would be involved here?"
- Seek to learn the intentions behind telling you this: "Greta, I appreciate your sharing that with me. Could you tell me what it might mean to me on the job?"
- Learn the interviewer's feelings on the matter: "Greta, you certainly know more about that than I do. How do you feel about it?"
- Find out what this means to him or her: "Greta, could you help me understand how this might be important on the job?"
- Determine what actions the interviewer feels are appropriate: "Greta, in light of what you're saying, what actions would be expected of me in that context?"
Now compare any of these options with the traditional rejoinder that most people would have come up with: "Oh, I have to do a lot of that in my present job. As a matter of fact….." What a difference.
Most of the words that might have been used to describe the kind of listening process detailed here have already been used by other authors: "active listening," "attentive listening," "creative listening," "emphatic listening," "reflective listening," and so on. So let's make up a handy label of our own for this kind of listening. Let's call it "care-full" listening, because every one of our optional responses provides the opportunity to show that you care about the job, about the interviewer, and about yourself.
In each case, you are seeking fuller understanding. This leaves less room for misinterpretation and prevents you from missing important input. Most of all, it shows your interviewer that you are a thoughtful, courteous individual who values other people's observations, opinions, and feelings.
When you use the technique, recognize that you don't have to limit yourself to a single option: You can always explore the interviewer's initial statement of fact from as many angles as each of you feels would be profitable.
