I talked about why having a dream, a sense of mission or a calling is so important for success. Having a greater goal helps when coping with failures, too, by allowing you to place individual setbacks into a larger context. When you believe that your goals are truly worth pursuing, you'll have the desire and momentum to keep going, rather than cave in, in the face of obstacles.
For example, it took my brother Edward Hirsch 10 years to get his first book of poetry in print with a major publisher. Then, it's very first week on the shelves, the book was trashed by a reviewer on the front page of the New York Times Book Review. This beginning was ominous, but in some ways, fortuitous.
Having survived a treacherous review early on, Hirsch now is much less afraid of what reviewers will say about his work. While he still (obviously) prefers praise, he also knows that he can survive the criticism.
That "failure" taught him another important lesson: com passion. He's well known among his writing colleagues for his generosity toward their work. Even when he criticizes them publicly, he never does so in the mean spirited way that he has been attacked.
Failure can be a genuine springboard to success if you allow yourself to learn the lessons it has to teach. You can begin that process by understanding some of the more common reasons failures occur and by learning from the experience of others who have used their defeats to grow and succeed. Politics
Psychologist Daniel Kirschenbaum remembers well the day he got turned down for tenure at the University of Wisconsin in Madison. It felt as if someone was telling him he wasn't good enough to belong to their club. Kirschenbaum had already established himself as a well known authority in his field and had more than 50 publication credits to his name. Given his undisputed record of achievement, the rejection was dramatic. It was also the culmination of a history of conflict between the liberal professor and one of his older, more conservative colleagues.
"He didn't like me from the beginning," says Kirschenbaum. "I was too 'out there.' My hair was too long. I was too collegial with students. And I expressed my opinions too openly. He came from the old school where students were treated more like children and younger faculty should be seen and not heard. It really galled him that I was so successful."
Prior to the tenure vote, the two professors had locked horns many times and disagreed openly on countless occasions. So it wasn't really surprising that when Judgment Day rolled around, the senior faculty member marshaled his forces and defeated Kirschenbaum's bid for tenure. Even though he understood the behind the scenes maneuvering that ended his career at the University of Wisconsin, Kirschenbaum says "the public embarrassment was hard to swallow."
But don't marry on the rebound. Take some time to figure out what's really right for you professionally.
Kirschenbaum found that match the following year at Northwestern University Medical School. In the process, he not only proved that there's "life after Madison," but he managed to double his salary as well.
He likes to refer to himself as "Mr. Persistence," and, in fact, his self confidence and determination are his real forte. "No individual or event can end my career," says Kirschenbaum. "I'm never going to let that happen." Knowing that you can and will recover from career setbacks provides an inner security and peace of mind that will keep you connected to your own goals and in charge of your own career destiny.
Wrong Job
In many cases, poor performance (and sometimes terminations) result from a mismatch between an individual and the job he or she is expected to do. While it's easy to fall into the trap of be rating yourself or blaming your employer for the trouble, you need to examine its root causes.
Consider a transportation manager whose career derailed when she joined forces with her company's Midwest operations. In reviewing the circumstances that led to her discharge, the manager realized that the position she held hadn't allowed her to capitalize on her strengths in opening up and developing new markets, since the territory she took over was well established. To correct her course and chart a new direction, she decided to carefully target jobs at companies where she'd be responsible for the development of new territories. Approaching age 50, she knows she can't afford to make another such mistake. By targeting roles that will let her play to her strengths, she hopes to be able to shine more in her next position. It will take some inner fortitude, though, to keep herself from taking another inappropriate position out of financial desperation. Should she fail to heed the lesson she's learned too well, she may doom herself to repeat the mistakes of the past. Let's hope not. Facing this same dilemma again at age 55 or 60 is certainly not the future she desires for herself
"Accidental careerists" (who fell into rather than chose their professions) are most vulnerable to this kind of career failure. Should you fit this profile, you may discover that your career path is more a reflection of who wanted you than what you wanted to do. As a result, you can end up plagued by a halfhearted commitment that makes you lazy and unmotivated. What you really need is a dream and goal of your own.
A property manager for a complex of apartment buildings lost three jobs in as many years. The problem: her lethargic attitude, which translated into mediocre customer service, poor service contracts (she was too "lazy" to negotiate harder), and an unmotivated support staff (they took their cues from her "leadership" style).
To get off that treadmill of mediocrity, she needed to identify and pursue more stimulating and meaningful work. In her sessions with a career counselor, she realized that she needed a more "intellectual" profession. Since teaching and academia appealed most to her, she took the initiative to go to graduate school for a PhD in English literature. She hopes to become a university professor a career plan that's likely to keep her self motivated for years to come.
