I will presume that you have followed suggestions and have:
- Created a positive resume (that got you the interview).
- Dressed in conservative, clean business clothes.
- Groomed yourself appropriately, making sure your hair is trimmed and/or neat and that your nails are clean.
Responding to the Greeting
Most openings or greetings are informal and nondirective. The interviewer is typically uncertain of what to do at this point, beyond trying to put the applicant at ease. Therefore, this may be the point at which the employer is most vulnerable. Assuming this is the case, the candidate has enormous potential for manipulation and control; but, it is an advantage that is very fragile and very temporary. The question becomes one of careful preparation and demonstrated confidence.
The standard greeting begins with efforts at congeniality. Accordingly, the applicant should be equally friendly and outgoing. The key here is "equally." You should measure your behavior against that of the interviewer. If he or she says, "It is a beautiful day (referring to the weather),'' you should agree with equal enthusiasm. By the same token, if he or she says, "Isn't it a miserable and rainy day," you should empathically agree. Anything short of complete agreement throws the greeting back at the interviewer and makes the person feel foolish or angry.
Perhaps a more specific example will be helpful. At one point, I was being recruited for a position with an Ivy League university. The dean of the college of business called me in for an interview. He started out by condemning higher administration officials for limiting my travel expenses and apologized for their behavior. In an effort to put him at ease, I told him that the university had been most generous and that I was perfectly happy with the arrangements. His response, rather than being appreciative of my understanding, was obvious and frozen anger. I was eventually hired for the position, but shortly after the interview the dean told a colleague of mine that, although I was going to be hired, he was concerned about my "attitude problem." So, it becomes a question of agreeing rather than arguing, even if your argument is designed to make someone feel better.
You should also scan the interviewer's office for clues regarding his or her personal life. Are there family pictures on the desk? Is there a bowling trophy on the shelf? Is there a Rotary Club plaque on the wall? All of these signs offer you opportunities to gain rapport with the interviewer. You can complement the family, indicate your interest in bowling, or demonstrate your connection with or general support for the Rotary Club. However, you should proceed carefully along these lines.
Once when I was trying to sell a potential client on a consulting contract, I got into considerable difficulty because I assumed too much. The general manager of the plant had pictures of sailboats all over the walls of his office. Since I sail, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to gain favor with him through a common interest.
"I see you are a sailboat enthusiast. I've been sailing for three years and I love it!" I exclaimed with a smile.
"Oh," he said. "The pictures, frankly those were my wife's idea. I despise sailboats. As far as I'm concerned," he continued, "sailboats are a menace to navigation."
He made a few other disparaging remarks about sailing and then he dropped the subject. Naturally, I felt like a fool and my efforts almost cost me the contract. Again, making an effort to relate to the interviewer based on the items you see in the office is generally a good idea, but proceeds with caution.
On another but related point, it is very common for the interviewer to offer you coffee or a hard or soft drink in the name of breaking the ice and being congenial. On balance, it is generally best to refuse the refreshment unless the issue is pressed and he or she insists. In that case, you should accept the drink in the spirit of agreement but barely touch it.
The reasoning behind the first suggestion is quite simple. Under high pressure, it is not uncommon to spill your drink. Nothing will eliminate you as a candidate quicker than ruining the interviewer's desk top, papers, or rug. It demonstrates your clumsiness or your inability to deal with tension or pressure. But even if you don't spill the drink, it is often a problem to find a place to put it down. The interviewer's desk is no answer; it is his or her territory and to place the glass or cup on the desk (with or without permission), is a violation of someone's personal space even if neither of you consciously recognize it.
As I said, if the interviewer insists on you having something to drink, put it in the most neutral spot you can find and forget it until you get up to leave. If it is alcohol, drinking it could destroy that fine edge between complete control and loss of control. Even if the drink is nonalcoholic, it could prove very difficult to handle as you try to gesture or look at printed material handed to you.
