Acting Right in Your Initial Contact

Your body language, the way you move your body, communicates a great deal to other people. This is almost exclusively a subconscious response and most people don't know that they are sending or receiving messages sent through this medium. Author Julius Fast, with his book Body Language (published in 1970), was among the first to popularize the well-researched notion that how you act, may frequently be more important than what you actually say.

Neutral body language is having your hands at your side, your back straight, your head up and parallel to the ground, and your feet side by side and about eight to 10 inches apart. Every time you move from this neutral position, you say something to other people.

In an interview situation, everything you do is magnified in importance including your actions. It is imperative, therefore, that you observe the following:

1. Walk into the room confidently, with your head up and your hands at your side. Be sure to keep your hands out of your pockets. Apparently, when your hands are in your pockets, people will tend to distrust you.
   
   
2. Smile momentarily but don't overdo it. Studies show that if you smile too long or too much, people will think that you are a friendly, but empty-headed fool.
   
3. Look the interviewer in the eyes when you are talking to him or her. There is substantial proof in hard research that good eye contact increases feelings of trust. Don't stare, but don't look down at the floor or out a window all the time, either.
   
   
4. Shake hands with your arm stretched out toward the other person. With your thumb straight up, slide your hand into the other person's squeezing his hand firmly but briefly. Avoid the weakness of an arm held closely to the body with the elbow pressed against the side. This indicates timidity and lack of confidence. On the other hand, you should also avoid the macho tendency to crush the other person's hand.
   
   
5. Sit down with your legs uncrossed, your head up, and your arms in your lap or resting on the side of the chair. Don't cross your arms; it reportedly demonstrates defensiveness and holding back.
   

By now you may be saying to yourself, "This guy has to be kidding. It would be unnatural to act this way." Well, there is nothing natural about the interview situation, so you can hardly be expected to "act natural." Instead, you must be controlled. There is an old saying that proclaims, "Those in control of them, control events." By lie same token, those who are out of control (show nervous reactions), tend to be controlled by others. Perhaps the following story will illustrate my point.

I was the president of a faculty association at a small college in New York State. An executive director of a large public school teachers' credit union had come to me with a proposal to allow our members to join his group. It was tempting to join because we were too small to have our own credit union and his organization offered many significant benefits. Still, I was uncertain about some of the specifics of his financial package so I asked him to present his pitch to our certified public accountant. I sat in on the presentation.

At the beginning, the executive director of the credit union was exuding confidence. He gestured freely, and when he wasn't waving his hands in the air, his body was in a neutral position. Suddenly, the C.P.A. asked a difficult question. In less than a second, the executive director stopped waving and crossed his arms over his chest. Another tough question followed. He crossed his legs as well and turned sideways in his chair with his shoulders pointing at his interrogator. Finally, when he was hit with a third probing question, he dropped his head and stared into his lap. He was obviously in a highly defensive posture and probably holding back information. After the interview, it was easy enough to predict that the C.P.A. would tell me not to join the credit union. The financial expert based his suggestion primarily on what the man said with words. I came to the same conclusion from what the man said with his body.

If you are saying to yourself, this is too much like witchcraft, that it sounds ridiculous, I don't blame you. At one point I would have been inclined to take the same position on body language. However, it may be comforting to know that the research in this area is very convincing.

But even if you are not convinced, you have little to lose and a great deal to gain by paying some attention to your body language. Most people will freely admit that they think that behavior reflects attitude. If that is the case, then you want to be cautious, if for no other reason than that you want to make the most favorable impression that you can. Many people fail to land the job they want because they were too non-verbally aggressive or passive without realizing it. Or perhaps it was smiling too much or shaking hands too loosely.

I recall presenting a candidate to a client who never got to first base because he almost crushed my client's hand. The president of the company was so angry he was almost beyond talking. The candidate was very qualified but he lost out because he apparently thought that it was important to be macho.

So, what it comes down to is that you must look and act properly from the moment you first enter the interviewer's territory. Anything short of that may automatically disqualify you no matter what other skills or qualifications you bring with you.