The magnitude of his accomplishments may color your vision. If you knew you had the talent of a Gauguin, you might run off to a tropical paradise to paint, too. Possessing more ordinary skills might make you think twice.
But did Gauguin really possess some fabulous innate artistic genius or, more likely, an incredible drive to bring his talents to fruition? By taking the initiative to explore his dream, he discovered a wellspring of potential within himself. Who knows what might happen to you if you could devote your full attention to developing your potential?
However you judge Gauguin-as a great artist, as an immature guy in the throes of a midlife crisis, or both-it's clear his tremendous talent would never have seen the light of day if he hadn't also had the ability to throw convention to the winds and live as he pleased.
Of course, his approach wouldn't work for everybody. The point is that he found a unique solution, which led to a uniquely satisfying accomplishment and lifestyle.
You may very well place your family responsibilities and financial obligations above your duty to fulfill your personal potential. This, too, is a valid choice. What you need to question, however, is whether you're being unnecessarily shortsighted. If you see yourself as someone without a lot of talent or potential to fulfill, it's easy to idealize your loyalties and stay right where you are.
There are many good reasons not to make changes. Lack of self confidence isn't one of them, especially if you're really unhappy with your current job or career. Even if you never aspire to great achievements, you can aspire to happiness. But don't expect it to fall in your lap. You have to go out and find it.
Believing that you could never have a truly satisfying career is just a way of justifying inertia, says career counselor Mike Murphy with the Signet Group in Chicago, Illinois.
"When all the choices you make are based on a false premise, the conclusions that flow from that premise are likely to be false, too," says Murphy. "How can you know there's nothing out there for you when you haven't even looked?" Too often, says Murphy, "We convince ourselves we can't do what really we're afraid to do."
Gauguin may have gone to extremes, but most people dream too small, making unnecessary sacrifices in the name of some misunderstood "reality."
Before you conclude that you have no choice but to stay in a job or occupation that isn't right for you, take some time to examine your beliefs. Leave open the possibility that some assumptions you've been making about yourself may be more self fulfilling prophesy than objective reality.
In Divorcing a Corporation (1986, New York: Villard Books), Jacqueline Honor Plumez identifies a host of self defeating lies that many of us use to talk ourselves into staying put when we should be letting go. "This way of thinking comes with a very dear price tag; You. Your aspirations. Your needs. Your happiness," says Plumez.
To break free of that psychological bondage, you need to recognize these self deceptions for what they are-a way to prevent yourself from getting hurt by not trying. Here are some of the "lies that bind."
It Would Be Disloyal of Me to Look Around
A 20 year veteran of the Bell system swelled with pride when describing himself as a "loyal corporate foot soldier." By that, he meant his employer could count on him to go wherever and do whatever he was asked. If his career path looked more like a potpourri of jobs than a logical progression of upward moves, he took comfort in knowing that he was needed. In exchange for that sacrifice, he expected them to find a place for him for as long as he wanted to work.
Divestiture didn't sit well with him, but he never dreamed it would affect him directly. When his name showed up on a list of people classified as "available for reassignment," he assumed he'd be picked up by another division immediately. Even after receiving his 60 day notice, he refused to look outside the company.
Only after he was actually forced off the payroll did the foolishness of his ways occur to him. Loyalty was supposed to be a two way street, but he was the only one honoring the contract. When the company no longer needed him, he was discarded like yesterday's newspaper, without a second thought for his welfare.
It was a hard lesson, and he was ill prepared to handle the emotional fallout. Had he recognized sooner that the changes in company structure signaled the end of their psychological employment contract, he could have taken more steps to protect himself. But by closing his eyes too long to reality, he ended up frightened and cynical-scrambling for his livelihood in a competitive workplace he couldn't begin to understand.
Trust me: If a company really needs you, it'll make every attempt to keep you should you decide to leave. For example, a technical trainer who gave the traditional two weeks' notice was offered a consulting contract to complete the projects she still had pending. In another case, a hospital that didn't want to lose one of its most productive administrators made an exceptional counteroffer to entice him to stay.
Neither of these professionals confused their new agreements with loyalty oaths. But, for both, it was a recognition that the work they did was valued enough to motivate their employers to keep them on the payroll a while longer.
