If you are prepared, you will still feel all these responses, but you will be better able to handle the situation and get what you need out of it. The most important thing to remember is that, by being laid off, you are suddenly thrust into an important business situation in which you need to have a clear head to negotiate effectively for what you need. In that respect, you must find a way to retain control of your emotions and reactions and deal with your (now former) employers in a logical manner. In short, to borrow from a well-known deodorant commercial, "Never let 'em see you sweat."
When you receive the news, no matter how much you'd like to scream, cry, throw things, hurt someone, or generally explode, don't do it. Or at least don't do it in front of the people laying you off. Don't make threats of any kind. Don't say anything that will harm you and your bargaining position. If you feel the need to react emotionally in any way, take a deep breath, calmly excuse yourself, and go to a private place (preferably with a door you can close) and cool off If you have a friend or person you know you can lean on at this point, quietly ask him or her to spend a few minutes with you.
There is one very critical thing to remember when you get the news: You must be prepared to negotiate; strong emotions will put you at a disadvantage. The moment you receive the news, if you are not prepared to negotiate calmly, leave the room. The people firing you may not appreciate your walking out on the discussion, but that, frankly, is their problem. You have every right to deal with this difficult situation in a way that protects you and your reputation.
" Assistance in finding a new job. Don't ever underestimate the difficulty of finding a new job. Even if you believe you have a new one in the bag, offers can fall through. Ask for and use whatever resources the company may have available. If the company uses an outplacement firm for hiring, ask to use the firm to aid you in your search. Access to computers, printers, secretarial assistance, and any other support will come in handy as you look for a new position.
" Counseling support and services. Job loss will have a significant impact on you and your family. Your company may provide counseling services free of charge for dealing with the emotional and financial aspects of losing your job.
" Other benefits. If you drive a company car, ask to keep it while under the severance agreement. While you are unemployed, the last thing you need to do is shop for a new car. If you can hang on to any other miscellaneous benefits (computer hardware you've been using at home, for ex ample), it can help.
" Cancellation of the agreement. Some employers offer severance pay only until you find another position or until the severance term expires, whichever comes first. You should be clear on this point. Severance pay is a benefit due you, regardless of what happens after you leave the company. If you are especially effective in your job search, you should not be penalized by your former employer for finding a new position quickly. After all, they won't extend your severance period if you don't find a job before it expires. Why should you forfeit money you've earned simply because you're tenacious about finding a new job?
You may find it difficult to think in terms of negotiating for severance pay. Again, because most companies do not publish severance policies, you may not know where to begin. Dr. Laurence Stybel, president of Stybel, Peabody & Associates of Boston, empathizes with people who are suddenly thrown into negotiations for a severance agreement. He explains, "Negotiating a severance arrangement with someone who has just fired you may feel like playing poker with an opponent who has a royal flush-and you have no cards." Dr. Stybel goes on to say, "Yet, you may be in a more favorable position than you think if you know when to negotiate, what to negotiate, and with whom."
The Day You Find Out
Jim was a project manager for a software company.
"When he told me he was laying me off," Jim said, "I actually laughed at him. I honestly thought he was joking. When he didn't say anything after that, it started to sink in. He was serious. After six straight weeks of overtime hours and working on weekends, this department head was standing there in the lab telling me I was out of a job. I wanted to deck him, and I almost did. Instead I shoved my chair back from the desk and pushed my keyboard away from me. It crashed when it hit the floor, and several keys popped off and went flying. My boss stood back and looked scared.
I think he thought I was going to deck him." If you never have to experience a layoff, you are spared one of the most painful and difficult situations anyone has to face. Layoffs are personally devastating and financially difficult. A layoff can alienate you from former co-workers and friends and damage professional relationships you have worked hard to develop. Advance planning, however, can make your exit as positive as possible for everyone involved, thereby salvaging your reputation and some professional relationships that may be valuable to you in the future. This article deals with how to react when you are faced with the news that you will be laid off, and how to maintain positive relationships with former co-workers.
